How to Make New Friends in Portugal

Portugal was during the fifteenth-sixteenth centuries at the forefront of geographical exploration and expansion among all the European nations. Even though the economic gains made then have subsided, the land continues to be a treasure house of artistic, cultural and natural beauty. So if you are planning to be for some time, here are a few tips on making new friends in Portugal.

Prepare for some initial reserve

Unlike its influence on Brazilian ways, Portuguese culture is slightly more reserved. It generally takes time for the Portuguese to strike up friendships. They prefer to be among people they know and trust, which is another reason the family figures at the center of social relationships. Likewise the Portuguese tend to hang out with close friends who they have known for a long time. However this does not mean that Portugal is unwelcoming to outsiders – once you get over their initial wariness, you can find yourself developing close friendships for life with the Portuguese.

In keeping with their reserved stance, the Portuguese do not use a lot of body gestures and are less given to physical contact during social interactions. So do not be overly demonstrative with hand gestures or body language or you will come off as an upstart to the locals. When meeting friends, men embrace and pat one another on the back, and women kiss both cheeks. Also if you are introduced to someone’s friends and family, shake hands with everyone present--men, women and children and again shake hands again when leaving.

Then again manners are taken very seriously in Portugal, especially with regard to elders. For all their reputation of machismo, Portuguese guys are brought up to frown upon rude and loutish behavior. When interacting with Portuguese, bear in mind that young people are expected to respect their elders and stand up and grow them when they come into the room.

Respect their culture

While you get talking to your Portuguese friends, bear in mind that they have a curious relationship with their national identity. Outwardly they may come off as critical of their government and politicians with family life always taking precedence over involvement in public life. However this should not be taken as a license for a foreigner to adopt a similar critical stance – even if your Portuguese friends start lambasting their country’s shortcoming and politicians, avoid joining in since deep down in their hearts they are fiercely patriotic and would not take well to an obvious outsider criticizing their country and its systems, especially when the latter known precious little about what he/she is saying.

Also like many other countries with bigger neighbors, Portugal is often at pains to differentiate its culture from that of Spain in matters of popular perception. Thus if you want to strike off a conversation with a Portuguese guy on the right note, don’t compare his country to Spain or confuse his language or culture with that of the Spanish. In fact in Portugal, there is a saying, “De Espanha, nem bom vento nem bom casamento” which can be roughly translated to mean that “From Spain, neither good wind nor good marriage (will result)”. Historically the Spanish - from Castilla, to be precise – were a recurrent threat to the Portuguese people. There were several battles, either to prevent the Spaniards from invading the kingdom or to kick them out. Even though there are no tensions now, the echoes of the past can still be heard. So according to the saying, just like the East winds - from Spain - bring storms, likewise, Spanish spouses bring trouble.

Portuguese culture continues to maintain strong ties with its traditions. The influence of the Catholic Church and the rural occupations like agriculture and fishing are still felt in many aspects of Portuguese life, even though urbanization is taking place at an increasing pace. Thus you can expect your Portuguese friends to hold rather conservative views about gender roles. In fact men here come across as being extremely macho, especially when driving and in male company. However in the family, men are extremely respectful to their elders and behave with great courtesy in female company. In keeping with strongly-defined gender identities of Portuguese culture, women here are usually seen in skirts or dresses rather than dressing in masculine clothes. women speaking loudly, smoking in public or hanging out in bars alone are considered aggressive and ugly just as people may take exception to nudity and women sunbathing topless; in popular tourist beaches though like on the Algarve, there are secluded beaches set aside for nude bathing.

The upside of a traditional culture though is that family is considered to be very important in Portuguese way of life. In semi-rural and rural areas, it is still quite common to find several generations of families living in a large house or near each other; even in cities, it is common for adult children to continue to live with their parents till the time they get married. Overall don’t be surprised if for your Portuguese acquaintances, family commitments take priority over casual parties and get-togethers.

Yet bedrock of Portuguese culture is religion, specifically Roman Catholicism. When meeting new people in Portugal, it is best you show respect to their deep-seated religiosity instead of adopting an explicitly atheist or anti-Catholic approach. For people used to the steadfast separation of the Church and public life, the religious resonances of Portuguese culture can initially seem a bit overwhelming. Christian festivals and Catholic rites such as baptism are observed with considerable devotion and it is still common to find people making pilgrimages to sacred shrines. Even in cities and urban areas, crucifixes and images of saints can be found everywhere – in people’s homes, in public buildings and by the roadside too.

Where to meet them

Since the Portuguese prefer long-lasting relationships to short acquaintances, you may need to make an effort not only to get to know them but also to nurture friendships made like through regular contact, get-togethers and going out together. The café is the hub of all social life in Portugal where friends meet, families go out for a treat as well as office-workers and students drop in for a bite. if you become a regular at a particular café and take an interest in the people who come here, sooner or later someone will strike up a conversation with you with maybe even others joining in. be sure to greet everyone with a cheerful ‘Bom dia’ or a ‘Bom tarde’ and leave with a smiling ‘Adeus’. But take care when addressing people since the familiar for of you – ‘tu’ – is used only for children and animals at least unless you become really well acquainted with the concerned people. The more formal ‘voce’ is used in case of new acquaintances with sometimes even professional titles being used as in formal situations.

Joining a club is a great way to make friends in Portugal, especially in the cities. There are clubs for a great variety of interests, ranging from sports to culture and languages. Apart from this you can also frequent the nightclubs, restaurants and bars in the urban areas to get a feel of exciting nightlife and even to meet new people.

Once you get to know a Portuguese friend well, you may find yourself being invited to their home since people here love entertaining at home which also gives them a chance to show off their rich culture. In such a situation you should take care to turn out smartly dressed and always bear a small but tasteful gift for the hostess.