Dating a Guy with no Drive or Ambition
While it is easy to make a list of must-have traits when looking for the guy of your dreams, the thing to remember is that human personalities are complex things – they are not only a mix of positive and negative traits but even the same characteristic may have both desirable and less than happy manifestations. Thus if you are dating a guy with no drive or ambition, explore how it can both hinder and enrich your love life.
Lack of resources
On the most obvious level, dating a guy without professional ambition makes for a precarious personal life. If your date is stuck at a lowly job, he will not be able to take you out in style that you deserve to, much less pamper you with all the finer things of life. It is the dream of almost everyone woman to be indulged by a date, if only on special occasions. However a man who has no real plan for bettering his financial prospects is unlikely to be able to lavish gifts and presents on you.
Strain on your savings
Dating a man with desire to better his financial circumstances could not only mean that you will not get to be materially indulged but that sometime down the line, your own resources may be come under strain. You may even find yourself lending your date some pocket money all too often or filling up his car with gas. Such a person is likely to be already under substantial debt and therefore unlikely to be able to afford taking anymore financial responsibilities in your relationship. Thus all major expenses would probably have to be borne by you – whether you want to go fine dining or take off for a short weekend vacation, it is your paycheck that will be on the line; a long dating relationship with this person could thus leave your finances well depleted.
TIP: Millionaire Match has many self made millionaire men from North America and Europe looking for women to date and marry.
Don’t think you can change him
Another pitfall of dating a man without drive is thinking you can change him or inspire him enough to put his pipe dreams into action. A lot of women think that if they love a man enough and support him that they can force him to get with the program and become successful. But the fact is that unless a guy has enough initiative of his own which would lead him to make something of himself, the effort to improve him is likely to be a losing battle. This type of guy is often willing to get married if he's found a meal ticket that will allow him to continue his pursuits of lounging before the TV or hanging with the boys instead of working harder at his job.
Lack of intellectual compatibility
For many women though, dating a man with no professional drive is not simply about lack of financial resources. A guy who does nothing to better his job prospects implies someone who either does not care to improve himself or thinks he is not worthy of being given bigger responsibilities at work. The lack of a challenging environment is sure to stunt the intellectual growth of such a person and over time, he may lose all charm of personality. Again other women feel that is important to date a successful guy not simply because they want to be taken care of but to avoid any future conflict if their male partners felt insecure about them earning more.
Being there for you
However there are two sides to every coin and even a guy with little professional drive may bring certain qualities to the dating table that are highly sought after by women. And foremost among these is a capacity for offering emotional support. Since a less-driven guy is unconcerned about climbing corporate ladders and striking multimillion dollar deals, he can be there for his partner more often than the ambitious go-getter. In fact most take it easy men make for highly fulfilling emotional relationships - they are not only in touch with their deeper selves but have the ability to tune into others emotions as well. Your laid back boyfriend will be more likely than others to perceive when you are anxious or upset and then able to draw out the reasons from you. At the same time, when you are happy about a promotion or a new hairdo, you can expect your man not only to notice it but make your day with some nice compliments. While this ability to be emotionally responsive is crucial for any meaningful relationship, it is especially rare to come across it in a man and thus one to be cherished wholeheartedly.
A creative personality
Then again men who are less driven in professional or business worlds, are more likely to be highly creative people – this is because most artistic and creative pursuits require a measure of contemplation and imagination – traits which hardly gel with over-riding ambition or cut-throat competitiveness. The best part about dating such a guy is that you are likely to be wooed and courted in a highly individualistic manner. If you partner has excellent culinary skills, he just might whip up a special dessert for your birthday. On the other hand if he is a singer, you may be lucky to have a song written, set to music and sung just for you amidst a hundred people. Creative people are spontaneous, non-judgmental and best of all have a unique way of showing their love which makes their partners feel so very special.
More time on his hands
If you are careful to simply date a less driven man casually and not start depending on him for financial support, you may find that the absence of professional ambition has its own rewards even. There will be no need for you to adjust your schedule to his since he doesn’t care about putting in overtime or attend business networking parties. He will thus be game to meet you at any time after his normal work hours and probably have more leisure time which you can put to good use in your love life. Again if you both are in a steady relationship, he will be home to take care of chores or even pick up your kids from school, if you have any.
Despite popular culture representing a man with no professional ambition as a loser, dating him is hardly the same as an unemployed person. One of the consequences of living in a keenly materialistic and consumerist society is that anybody who is not slaving away for the next promotion or commission is seen as lacking drive and purpose in life. The truth however is that there are different kinds of goals that a person may wish to work towards in his lifetime. A man who does not care about moving into the glass-fronted office may have plans of writing a book, trekking through mountain trails in Bhutan or volunteering at a save-the-whales campaign. Again if a man earns enough to pay his bills and mortgage, does it really matter if he cannot obtain a fifty percent pay raise every year? Finally there is a lot to be said about living simply; if you and your partner can reduce your wants and meaningless material indulgences, there is no reason why you cannot have a quality dating life on limited financial resources.
- Log in to post comments