How to Make New Friends in Britain

The epithet in Great Britain may seem a colonial hangover but in fact it originated as a way of differentiating the British territory from Brittany in France. Britain today consists of England, Wales and Scotland and stretches from Shetland Islands in the north to Sicily Isles in the southwest; so if you are visiting these regions and keen to make friends among the people here, here is a brief guide.

Be prepared for some formality

Compared to the Mediterranean cultures, forging new friendships is a slightly more formal affair in Britain. Here people are less effusive and more reluctant to exhibit warmth and spontaneity while making new acquaintances . This is because privacy is a highly valued concept in the British Isles – an evidence is the tradition of having gardens with hedges surrounding their homes which marks a clear boundary between the public and private spheres. However in cities, especially in cosmopolitan centers – the quintessential stiff upper lip – is more of a stereotype as people come in greater contact with other cultures and there is a greater intermingling. On the whole though, the British are a reserved race which is only their way of showing respect for others’ privacy rather than motivated by rudeness or sense of superiority.

How to address

In Britain upon being introduced to someone, it is customary to shake hands and for both people to say “How do you do”, which though needs no answer. Increasingly younger people are using the less formal ‘hello’ or ‘hi’ upon meeting someone new ; also while it is usually to start off addressing people politely by using their title, for instance, Mr. Brown or Miss Smith, it may not be long before you are on fist-name terms with them. The older generation though may still prefer to be addressed by their title and surname. However some people, particularly tradespeople may address you by using such words as luv, dear, duck or pet – these are general forms of endearment and do not mean any offensive familiarity.

Where to meet

If you are in Britain for an extended stay, you will find that the best way to make new friends is to join a club or enroll in a course. There are clubs, associations and classes catering to a variety of interests, ranging from sports, bridge and chess to amateur dramatics, choral singing and gardening. Local further education classes and adult education centers are particularly popular as they offer evening courses in wide spectrum of subjects from arts and crafts to car maintenance. In fact churches and religious organizations too often offer socializing opportunities without any over emphasis on any particular faith or creed.

The local pub is an important meeting place and though one can get a drink here, it is not the same as a bar or even what a pub means in the US. In Britain the pub is at the center of the social fabric where men and women not only wind down with a pint of beer or a drink at the end of the day but where people drop in for a bite, friends meet up to chat and in the country, even families get together to celebrate occasions. So if you are keen to make new friends in Britain, make yourself a familiar face on the local pub scene. In recent times, some establishments have adopted the title of ‘gastropub’ – these specialize in interesting cuisines and usually offer better quality ingredients as compared to the regular pub. One common social habit in Britain, especially among the younger generation, is to go on a pub-crawl which involves visiting a number of different pubs in an area and having a drink in each.

The British are nothing if not house-proud; so once you are past initial introductions, you may find yourself invited to a friend’s house for cocktails, a barbecue, a buffet meal or simply drinks in the evening. For the most part, these are informal affairs where you can drop in with a bottle of wine or some flowers. If on the other hand you receive an invitation to a formal dinner, it will not only specify the time but the dress as well. Whatever the occasion, you are expected to reply, whether you are accepting or declining as soon as possible, at the end of the party, make sure to thank your hosts sincerely and tell them how much you enjoyed the event.

What to talk about

Any comment on the British obsession about the weather is often preceded by their supposed lack of conversation. Indeed men and women here are somewhat reticent to open a conversation and in a social setting and it may be up to you to make the first move; but if you are on the whole polite and stick to the right topics, you can easily get a new acquaintance talking. Apart from the weather, the British like discussing sports, particularly cricket and soccer which is called football here, and travel.. For all their humility, you can get a friend here to warm up to you if you praise his/her home, children, garden and pets. It is best to avoid talking about money and yourself, unless invited to do so – even then boasting about oneself and one’s own achievements is seen in bad taste. Above all, prying into one’s personal life is a strict no-no since this may lead others to suspect your motive.

No matter what the topic of discussion, when conversing with the British, bear in mind their partiality for good manners. While people here may be accused of some aloofness, they can rarely fault on courtesy. The expression ‘sorry’ is used a great deal starting from apologizing for an inconvenience to an appropriate response on hearing bad news or even if your words have not been fully heard and need repetition. They unfailingly say ‘please’ and ‘thank you’ though unlike the Americans, ‘you’re welcome’ is less common in response to thanks – usually a warm smile conveys the needful.