Demystifying women - Women and the mind games they play

Women often love to talk about men and how they are ruled by their baser urges. But men like to turn around and say that at least they are blatantly honest about it. With women, on the other hand, they say, you are always floundering in the deep end. They are such mistresses of their true feelings and emotions that a man never knows where he stands with them.

Men are often confused about how to read a woman’s psyche and have a common grouse, "I can never get it right". They wish that women would stop playing these nonsensical mind games and just tell them up front what they mean and what they should do and make it easier on the relationship and on them.

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What are some of the games women play?

The game she plays : Playing Hard-to-get

This is one of the most age-old and popular games that women love to play. For a woman, half the fun is in the chase and if on the way, she discovers he wasn’t really the guy she thought he was, she has no qualms about making it a wild goose one!

What’s a guy to do?

If you know you’re being led up the garden path, keep all senses alert. Try not to chase her too much, act like a bit of a challenge yourself to entice her to take some initiative as well. Women only play hard-to-get when they know they can get away with it.

The game she plays : "I want your honest opinion"

When a woman says this to you all your senses should go on red alert. This is a time that calls for political correctness and diplomacy worthy of an electoral candidate. If she asks you, "Was I being rude to that catty woman, give me your honest opinion", watch your answer. This is more along the lines of a rhetorical question, one she doesn’t really expect an answer to, least of all an affirmative! Or even worse, if she asks, "Am I fatter than her?" and you really think she is, you’d better practice being a good liar or find a nice way of eating humble pie for the rest of your date.

What’s a guy to do?

Some men seem to have perfected the art of changing the topic of conversation or coming up with a convenient distraction when faced with such quandaries. But for the most part, you’re best off telling a barefaced lie and giving her what she wants to hear, or else face the music.

The game she plays : Silent treatment

You come home and you find yourself chilled to the bone. Or you’re having a perfectly normal date and suddenly she goes all quiet. She’s giving you the dreaded silent treatment and you haven’t a clue what’s got her to feel this way. Often men do eventually realize what the problem is, but are most often clueless initially and have the classic question, "What have I done now?" which seems to further irk and irritate the woman. She retreats further into her silence and no amount of coaxing and prodding will get her to reveal what the problem is, till you’re ready to tear your hair out in frustration.

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What’s a guy to do?

As much as you may be tempted to do it, don’t just leave her alone to deal with what is upsetting her. You may think that by going after her, it makes you seem like the weak one. But remember, a woman wants to know that it matters to you – that her being upset makes a difference to you. If she isn’t willing to talk about it, give her a little time on her own, and then lighten the moment by telling her something that begs a response, or try just holding her and letting her vent some steam, which will hopefully melt some of that iciness.

The game she plays : The tease

She flirts with you and lets you think she’s under your spell, while she's actually casting her spell over you. She has you so captivated with her charms that you are totally helpless to do anything but be reeled in. And then, when you least expect it, she shows you the door. You feel like the worst kind of fool.

What’s a guy to do?

You have to have your wits about you and enjoy her for the moment, without getting your hopes up, or your wallet emptied. If you have been had by this kind of woman before, and you’re not such an astute judge of character yourself, stay close to a couple of mates who are!

The game she plays : Using sex

There are those women who use sex as their most powerful weapon to manipulate a man and get what they are after. In the initial stages of a relationship, they may allow certain liberties or get a guy hooked on to having great sex. And when he is truly a slave to his desires, they subtly wield their power over him to get him to do what they want, including the sulking sex kitten act when denied their way.

What’s a guy to do?

To deal with this kind of woman, you have to think with your head rather than your heart, or any other more basic organs of your body! Sex is something that two partners in a relationship enjoy for mutual pleasure and not a means for extortion or manipulation.

The game she plays : The victim

Most women know how to use tears to their advantage and most men are suckers for it. Especially when the relationship is new and each is still trying to impress the other, tears are a surefire way of bending a man to her will. If he decides to turn away, vowing not to succumb to emotional blackmail, it brings on a fresh onslaught of tears, with a heart-rending, "You don’t care for me any more" or "If you loved me you would do this for me".

What’s a guy to do?

Console her and empathize for the moment. And if you are in the wrong, of course, apologize. But also be firm and let her know that of course you care for her but when she cries, it is very difficult to have a normal conversation or make any headway in resolving an issue.