How to Show your Husband you Love Him

Even the most passionate of marriages can eventually suffer from the ill effects of dead routine. The flame that glowed so warmly in the first few years of marriage may start burning low after a while; thus even though you are faithful to your husband, you no longer express how much his love and commitment mean to you. So shake off the cobwebs of your marriage before it is too late and show him how much you love him.

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Say it but give a reason too

Once a marriage becomes boring, you keep saying or doing things that you no longer mean. You may say “I love you” while leaving for work or before hanging up on the phone but out of mere habit. On the other hand, if you remind your husband why you love him, it will mean something special. For instance if you say, “I love you for the way you still hold out the door when I’m walking through” or “I love you coz after eight years of marriage, you still laugh at my old jokes” this will not only show your spouse that you still care but that you love him as deeply as before.

Ask questions

After a few years of marriage, you might feel that you already know everything there is to know about your husband and there can be nothing new.  Yet continuing to inquire about your partner shows that you are still interested in him; what he thinks, feels and does still matter to you. So after your husband comes back from work, ask about his day. Or ask how your spouse is feeling if he appears upset.

TIP: Download the guide to making up with your husband

Give him your time

In these days of over-scheduling, your undivided attention to a spouse could be the single most valuable present you can give him, far more meaningful than a box of chocolates or a set of cuff-links. A busy household with kids, school work and domestic chores seems to sap away all your time and energy till you are ready to crash for the night. And yet spending even fifteen minutes with each other can make all the difference. But make sure that this time is for only the two of you – no discussing bills, sick kids or schedule for the next day. Wipe out every things-to-do list from your mind and focus only on each other. Tell a joke, hum a tune or simply massage his neck. Stick to such a ritual and see how it works wonders for your marriage.

Once in a while indulge your husband

This can be as simple as taking on your husband’s chores or making his favorite dessert. Or you can put in some time and effort into your romantic gestures like shopping for your husband’s favorite cologne or getting tickets for a game of his favorite football team. Whatever you do, it will remind your spouse that he is special to you even after all these years of marriage and that you don’t mind making an extra effort to show it.

Give him breathing space

Every healthy relationship needs some breathing space so that partners can grow as individuals too. Thus if your husband likes a boys’ night out, every now and then, or looks forward to tee off on Sunday afternoon with his friends, by all means let him go and be happy about it too. Your gesture will prove that your husband’s interests are important to you as well and that you are not the kind to insist on doing only what you want. Your emotional maturity will not only make your husband love you better but the next time you want to go shopping or for a rom-com, you may be surprised to find him willing to accompany you.

Show that you respect him

Centuries of patriarchy have conditioned the male sex to feel superior to the female. And even though both you and your husband know that a man is no longer assumed to be head of the family, he will feel deeply loved and cherished if you still accord him respect, in words and gesture, in public and in private. Indeed if you love your man, you would not want to talk to him with anything but respect. Not doing so is a subtle way of telling him you don't really love him, because for men - as for women - love and respect go hand in hand in a mature relationship.

Give evidence of your support

Everyone in life has to make a lot of decisions all of the time. Sometimes things don't work out, and sometimes they do. Be supportive of your husband’s decision even when you suspect that it is not the best way to go about a thing. If you end up praising your husband only when he makes the right decisions, he may not come to you at all when he makes decisions about things that affect you both. And even if it evident that your husband has made a mistake, never criticize or use sarcasm. Nobody likes to be criticized or made to feel utterly incompetent. Your man knows when he has made a mess of things and you criticizing him for it will only make things worse.

Initiate intimacy

Just because your husband is the male partner, it is not necessary that he has to initiate love making every time. Take the first step every now and then and your man will be flattered to feel desired. Love and physical passion are more interchangeable for men than for women to whom romance and verbal expressions of emotions often more important in love. At the same time, don’t be under the mistaken notion that that all men want physically is sex. Men want and need touching just as much if not more than women do. So use gestures to indicate and encourage intimacy; Touch his hands, arms and shoulders, kiss him for no apparent reason. All these gestures will make him feel closer to you and love you all the more.