Why some women don't like to be picked up

It would seem like a woman would feel great if a guy were to hit on her and try to pick her up. After all, it is an indication that she is attractive and desirable. In fact, she should feel complimented that a guy has been so drawn to her that he has mustered up the courage to approach her and pick her up.

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But contrary to popular belief, or what one might expect, some women just don’t like the idea of being picked up. Why is that the case? Could it be that by attempting to pick up a woman it evokes one or more of the following misgivings?

1. She feels she’s an easy target

When a woman is hit on, she could feel that you’re implying she’s easily available. Or that she has questionable morals and would be up for a casual fling. Because that is what most pick-ups amount to. Some women feel cheapened by being approached in a bar or a club, as if their presence there itself is like an open invitation to be hit upon. It makes them feel like they’re attracting the wrong kind of interest and rather than be pleased with the attention, they are embarrassed by it.

2. Ruins her evening

For some women, being sought after and flirted with leaves them vaguely uneasy. Such a woman cannot allow herself to let go and enjoy herself and instead finds that it has ruined her night out. Especially if the man in question who is trying in vain to pick her up isn’t getting the message and is still flogging a dead horse. It leaves a bitter aftertaste and she wishes the floor would just open up and swallow her.

3. She has to spend the rest of the night avoiding him

Since she didn’t enjoy him coming on to her and being polite didn’t help, she finds she has to tell him like it is. Once she rebuffs a guy, it isn’t a pleasant experience having him nearby, so she has to relocate to another part of the club/bar, possibly the table furthest away from him. And heaven help her if she has to pass him on the way to the cloakroom, she’d rather restrict her fluid intake or suffer from an overfull bladder!

4. She might feel unsafe

In case a man tries picking her up and she isn’t interested, it sometimes gets rather unpleasant for a woman. If he’s even slightly inebriated and starts coming on too strong, a woman begins to feel edgy as she’s not sure what he might try next. And if, for any reason, her friends have left and she’s on her own, it puts her on her guard in case the man in question decides to follow her around or act nasty. All this makes it difficult for her to relax and enjoy the evening.

5. She wants to leave

If she isn’t the type who’s into the pick up scene and the guy trying to pick her up didn’t take rejection too kindly, it makes it uncomfortable for her to stick around. And that irritates her no end. Through no fault of hers, some guy has tried to hit on her and now, because he’s caused a scene and embarrassed her, she figures it's better to get out of the place rather than hang around and attract more unwanted attention.

While deciding on whether or not to hit on a woman, if you want to save face (and save her some embarrassment), make sure you read her right. If she’s not made any eye contact with you (and even then, make sure it's not accidental but more than a couple of times), nor has she given you any indication that she could be interested, don’t try picking her up. Not only will you be setting yourself up for disappointment, but you will also be ruining the unsuspecting lady's evening. And she will curse you for the rest of it!