Cougar Dating - tips for older women dating younger men

With couples like Demi and Ashton, older women and younger men pairings are becoming more mainstream. Beyond Mrs. Robinson. And, more evolved than the stereotypical sugar mama preying on a boy toy. As women age gracefully and have more choices, dating younger men can be more appealing than dating men of the same age, especially if those older men have baggage (divorce, ex-wife, etc.) Younger men offer an exhilarating ride as you start dating them. But before you indulge, you must discover what you want first.

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1. Maturity

Age doesn’t always determine maturity. There can be men over forty that could give any teenager a run for his money. Depending on their life experiences, some younger men have had to grow up faster and have gained some wisdom and insight. Spending time with him and seeing how he handles stress, finances, friends, work, etc. will give you a better idea of his maturity level. But, if you are looking for a casual relationship, it may not matter.

2. Spontaneity

Younger men still want to explore and find out who they are, before settling down. Filled with adventure, they are spontaneous, which is quite pleasing to the older woman. The younger man’s adventurous nature is contagious and exploring life together offers excitement, especially in the new season of your life.

3. Matches Your Expectations

Before you start dating, figure out your relationship expectations. Determine if casual is more to your taste, where seeing him less frequently will not be a problem. Limited quality time vs. quantity time may suit the busy cougar schedule better. And after years of a serious relationship or marriage, dating for fun, with no strings attached, may be just what you need. But if there is an expectation for a serious relationship, then seek a younger man who wants the same. Don’t be afraid to voice what you want. By being on the same page in the beginning, it will prevent frustration and heartbreak later, if he doesn’t want the same thing. Also, in early conversations, find out what he wants from the relationship. Is he marriage-minded? Does he eventually want children? These discussions don’t have to happen on the first date. But as your relationship progresses, it’s best to tackle them head-on as it steers the relationship in the direction that you want.

4. Same Energy Levels

What is your energy level? Are you the type that likes to dance until dawn, or is a quiet night at home with a movie more your level? Many younger guys do a lot of social things during the week. If you can’t keep up, find a guy that is more your speed. Also, reveal the social things you like to do. Don’t be afraid to say that you don’t like baseball or hanging out at the bar. Give him some alternatives that show him the relaxed fun side of you. Remember, you don’t have to do things to compete with younger women. Just be yourself and let him enjoy all the things he likes about you.

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5. The Whole Package

Regardless of age, older women want a man with the whole package – someone who likes to have fun, with confidence, a sense of humour, sexiness, and respects and accepts you as you are. Yet, figure out your deal breakers before dating a younger man, because it helps to weed out the low quality ones. Deal breakers like immaturity, always hanging out with the fellas and not spending enough time with you, not understanding your season of life, conflicts with your kids, living with parents, etc. Spending time with your younger man and asking questions helps you see if he is real or just a player.

6. Beware of Being Mommy

Some younger men seek out older woman as a mother type. It’s an easy role to fall into, since he may appeal to your nurturing side. It starts off innocently, such as letting him borrow money or moving in if he doesn’t have a place to stay. Watch out for the early signs and avoid this type, because he is not looking for a confident woman who can contribute to the relationship. He wants someone to fill the role that his mother no longer does. You have raised your kids and you don’t want to raise another one.

7. Beware of the Booty Calls

For some younger guys, going out with a sexy older woman is a big turn-on. His boys think so too and encourage him to do so. He may have the stereotypical idea of the older woman being able to teach him sexually. So, they may be looking for the booty call. These men are obvious by calling late at night and asking to come over. Or only wanting to be a friend with benefits and nothing more. It’s best to avoid them, unless you don’t mind having a sexual relationship with no strings attached.

8. Let Him Chase You

Despite him being a younger man, he is still a man. He likes the hunt and the chase. Let him take the lead in asking you for your phone number and the first date. It doesn’t diminish you as a strong confident woman. His pursuit will prove that he is really into you. Besides, you’re too busy to do the chasing. Also, keep options open and date other younger men in order to figure out if he is the guy you want. It may be hard, especially if you feel a connection. But, it prevents you from getting emotionally attached too soon and it allows you to see him clearly and fully.

Younger men offer the cougar an exciting dating life that she may have not experienced before. By not having the baggage of exes and divorce, it is more alluring and refreshing than dating men of the same age. Once expectations are determined and the mama's boys and players are weeded out, the cub of your dreams may show up for some casual fun. Or may even be the new love of your life.