10 Signs That it's More than a Friends with Benefits Relationship

The cardinal rule of a friends with benefit relationship is not to let emotions get in the way. But what looks easy on paper is often much more difficult to follow in real life. So if you begin to suspect that your friends with benefit relationship is turning into something deeper, here are a ten signs to watch out for.

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You call each other more often

Regular communication is one of the hallmarks of a satisfying relationship. When two people are in love, they wish to keep in touch the whole day – through phone calls or text messages - even though they may be living under the same roof. Thus if you find that you and your friend are regularly exchanging emails, phone calls and text messages and especially about things not directly related to sex, like asking how your presentation/test/interview/trial went or whether you have finally got your car fixed - chances are you are exploring the space outside a strictly friends with benefits relationship.

You expect more

Even more significant than your frequent communication is the fact that now you care whether or not your friend replies to your  texts or emails right away. You check about a billion times, refreshing the page over and over. Likewise if you receive something from your ‘friend’, you feel like replying immediately and in case you don’t, he/she usually asks about your tardiness the next time you meet. Other signs of greater expectation are when you seek their approval about a new haircut or outfit and upset if they don’t notice.

You are in each other’s thoughts

A veritable sign of a budding relationship is two people thinking about each other more often than before – even when they are doing things not directly related to a partner. For instance you may be browsing through a shopping mall and you pick up something your ‘friend’ had mentioned they needed. You think you do this because you were out and it’s no big deal but it is a distinct sign that he/she is in your thoughts. Again your ‘friend’ texts you funny things when out with his/her gang, just because he/she is thinking of you.

You want to hang out

And not only in places where you can make out. Instead you find that you like doing other things with your ‘friend’; for instance you both like jiving in a karaoke club or biking for long distances. You meet in an art gallery and spend an enjoyable afternoon browsing through paintings or take part in a cooking class and have fun trying out recipes. Sharing mutual interests is one of strongest bonding factors in real couples and if you are doing the same with your ‘friend’, it is likely you are discovering the pleasures of a real relationship.

You find other people unsuitable

Yet another sure-shot sign of a growing relationship is when you begin to lose interest in other potential partners. For instance after you have been on a date, you can’t wait to see your ‘friend’ to tell them about how dumb the guy was or how the girl ate pizza with a fork. Likewise when your sex buddy has an actual date or ask you for dating advice, you always find flaws with the new people or tell them they can do better.

You are in no hurry

The nature of your sexual relationship is sure to hold a few pointers if you have been moving from a strictly friends with benefits to more emotional involvement. For instance when you start kissing, you enjoy it for a long while and are in no hurry to get to the final base. In fact you may even be kissing more often as a greeting and not just as a pathway to sex or out of obligation in the morning. Similarly after a hook up you are in no mood to part ways quickly; so after you spend the night together, you probably sleep in and get brunch the next day.

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You cuddle up

After you hook up, you stay in each other’s arms and nuzzle each other’s necks and talk sweet nothings. You cuddle or put yourselves in a spooning position. All these are behaviors are ways of reinforcing emotional attachment through physical gestures and could signal red flags in your friends with benefits relationship.

Sex is no longer the most important thing

You go over to hook up with your ‘friend’ but end up watching TV and eating pizza together. Or perhaps he/she massages your back for you when you go over after a stressful day at work. At times like these you don’t even need sex and happily fall asleep leaning on each other on the couch. When sex is no longer the primary focus in your relationship, it is evident that you are getting closer to each other in an emotional or even romantic way.

You do things for each other

A surefire sign of a friends with benefit relationship turning into something more is when you both like to do things for each other that are not remotely connected to sex. Perhaps one of you has cooked for the other one or one of you has made the other a mix CD. Again you may have gone out of your way to collect your friend’s favorite dessert for a night he/she is coming over or perhaps he/she has surprised you with a gift of your favorite book or painting. Indulging each other with things and gestures not connected primarily to sex are one of the common traits of a deepening emotional attachment.

You are less secretive

While society has become more accepting of different kinds of relationships, a sex buddy is still someone that you would not like to advertise in your daily life. Thus if you find yourself becoming less secretive about your relationship with this ‘friend’, chances are you are looking for a relationship based on trust and honesty instead of something furtive. Thus now when your ‘friend’ posts something to your facebook wall, you probably don’t fly into a panic and delete it immediately before anyone sees. Also you don’t mind being clicked with your ‘friend’ and it being available for the whole world to view – indeed you may even feel a certain pride that your relationship is now out in the open and does not exist solely behind closed bedroom doors.