10 Mistakes Men Make with Women
by kalyani10
Men can be frequently heard complaining about how difficult it is to know what a woman wants. And this lack of inside knowledge could be reason why some men are prone to doing or saying the wrong things with their dates – again and again. So here are ten of the most common mistakes men make with women and how to make sure that you avoid them.
- Dismissing the importance of appearance
Granted that casual dressing is in vogue, but that should be no reason to turn up for dates looking like something the cat dragged in. Women in general are prone to scrutinizing appearances minutely and reading volumes in what they see. So if turn up in dirty tees and jeans while sporting a two-day stubble on his face, it is extremely likely that she will take you for a lazy slob or an unemployed slacker. So if you don’t want scare away your partner, be sure you are well-groomed for your date - don’t have BO and come dressed like a gentleman.
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- I, Me, Myself
A guy who can only talk about himself, his own achievements and ambitions for the future is hugely boring. If you really want girls to be interested in you, try asking them about their favorite pastimes, their friends or the best vacation that they ever took. At the same time, refrain from the temptation to preen yourself every time you pass a mirror or manage a not-so-secretive sneak onto the polished surface of a plate. No matter how much you love yourself, remember you are out with a girl and she might be put off by your vanity and self-obsessed behavior.
- Buying her extravagant gifts
Unless you are in a steady relationship with a woman, it is better to avoid lavishing extravagant gifts on her. If you turn up with a gift-wrapped diamond brooch or an exotic arrangement of orchids for her, especially on the first few dates, more likely than not she will be embarrassed at your over-the-top gestures. At worst, she is likely to get suspicious of your real intentions and feel that you are trying to buy her affections. Even if she is the kind of girl who can be hooked only by attractive gifts, consider if this is the right reason you want to have a partner for. So keep it subtle on the first few dates and let your gifts convey your thoughts for the person rather than be an excuse to show off your financial strength.
- Insist that she split the bill
At the same time though, don’t give evidence of a petty mentality. It is the duty, indeed the privilege of a guy to pay on the first date, even if his partner offers to do so at the end of a dinner. If you happen to calculate the price of the chocolate cherry fondue that she had for dessert while you went for plain old vanilla ice cream and then insist that she pay up accordingly, you might as well kiss all chances of seeing her again goodbye. Remember paying on a date is not just about following social conventions but more an indication of your generosity of nature and ability to provide for another person in case you are looking for a relationship.
- Convince her to like you
You probably know that women are looking for guys who are sensitive, responsible, financially responsible and with a sense of humor too. However parroting these lines before her and repeating ad infinitum about the times you agreed to babysit your nephew or take the stray cat to the vet will hardly make a woman fall for you. Rather she will suspect that you are trying too hard to win her and this will put her off. Instead focus on expressing your qualities through actions; also women are more wired to emotions, therefore it is how you act and make her feel that will determine her interest in you.
- Checking out other women
This is one of the primary major turn-offs for women. If you are out on a date with a particular girl, it indicates that you have chosen to give her your attention and time. On the other hand, if your partner finds you perpetually distracted in her company or ogling at other girls in the pub or restaurant even while sitting with her, she will naturally sign you off as a waste of time.
- Cribbing a lot
OK, so life has handed out a rough deal to you; but then who is completely spared of misfortunes. Therefore try not to burden your peeves and disillusionments on your partner or you will come off as a whiner. Under stably you are looking for a woman who will share your troubles, but if you go on and on about your wretched boss or greedy ex-wife, there is hardly anyone who will stick to you. Above all she expects to be a lover in a relationship, not your therapist.
- Getting too close too quickly
Women on the whole like to be sure of a guy before getting intimate with him. So one of the worst mistakes you can make while dating is try to get physical with a girl before she has given a hint that she would like you to do so. Brushing past against a girl repeatedly, groping for her waist/hand, or kissing on the mouth without being invited to, are common goof-ups by men who think that they will come off as being sexy and desirable if they try to get physical with their partners. In fact they merely come off as annoying and desperate.
- Being too nice a guy
In order to get a woman to like you, it is not necessary that you turn yourself into a doormat and accommodate all her wishes. If she wants to fix up a date at an hour’s notice and you have an important meeting fixed for the evening, by all means tell her that you are unavailable. Men who come off as too nice are often taken for granted by women. What she is actually looking for is a guy who she can respect and admire and if you constantly put her needs ahead of yours, you will come off as unimportant and hence forgettable.
- Forgetting to turn down the toilet seat
Yes, “little” things as these can really drive a woman crazy. So if you are staying at her place and using her stuff, make sure you do so responsibly and in the way she is used to.
While there may be any number of things that men goof-up in their dealings with the opposite sex, the thumb rule is to avoid those that display insensitivity and crassness. Everyone likes to be treated with respect and affection and women are no different.
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