Tips for a Blind Date

Dating at the best of times is an unpredictable game. But when it comes to connecting to a person your friends have hooked you up with it turns out to be a whole new ball game. You are largely clueless about the person sitting before you but nevertheless are thrown together in a quasi romantic context. Here are a few tips that can help you to plan for, go through a blind date, and who knows may be even enjoy one.

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Don’t arrive with too many expectations

Or too little, for that matter. Blind dates are all about getting to know a person from scratch. The typical blind date is a date where you don’t know the person you’re going to meet on the date. You haven’t seen them, nor have you spoken to them or met them earlier. At best you may been given a few nuggets of info like he has brown eyes and loves dogs or she is 5’5 and likes dancing but such traits could fit at least another twenty people you know. So unless you have been handed a photo of your date – and a recent one at that – it is best to arrive on your date with a tight hold on your imagination. Difficult though as it may sound, not having built up any image in your mind will help you either way – if your date turns out to be a disaster, you will not be left too disappointed while if your date is a success, you will be pleasantly surprised. At the same time, don’t arrive at your date in a highly critical mood. Having preconceived notions about how blind dates never work and how a guy who has agreed to a blind date can only mean he’s a loser can have a major impact on your dating experiences. It sets up negative dynamics from the start and then whatever your date does – or doesn’t – is only fodder for more disappointment. So keep an open mind and turn up for a blind date with an understanding that it could go either way.

The venue

Since a blind date can go either way, it’s better to meet your date at someplace where you can walk away within thirty minutes if you’re certain the date won’t work out. Some ideal venues for a blind date are a café, pub or even a bookstore which has a nice coffee station in a corner.  If both of you like each other and hit it off immediately, you can make plans to take the date forward to dinner or lunch at a nearby restaurant. If you’re not comfortable on the date, walk away as soon as you finish your beverage. Even if you decide to go to a restaurant, keep it casual; save the exotics for another time and opt for a restaurant that offers a variety of different food choices so that your date is comfortable.

How to dress

Blind dates are tricky affairs when it comes to dressing up. If you’ve been set up on a date with someone you don’t know, don’t make your blind date feel awkward or uncomfortable because you’ve underdressed or overdressed for the occasion. Dress casually, but let your date see that you’ve made the effort to look presentable and attractive. Just like a first date, smart casuals would be appropriate for a blind date too.

Turn up with a smile

One of the obvious aspects about blind dates is that it’s completely awkward for both the involved people. Imagine walking up to someone you’ve never met in your life and having to force a smile and share a happy conversation with them. So if you want to ensure that you have a great time on your blind date, try and be genuinely warm the very second you meet your date for the first time. Say hi or hello with a sincere smile and be positive in your approach. When you warm up to your date, your date will feel more comfortable around you. And that would leave both of you feeling relaxed and happy to be with each other within a few seconds of meeting each other.

Keep the focus on conversation

In a blind date, both of you may have no idea about each other, so it might take a few moments to get the conversation going. This would be natural but come prepared with a few things you might want to discuss. Hobbies, interests, favorite kind of music or movies are usually the safest topics of conversation and allow both sides to contribute their share. If you are too quiet, your partner might feel you are uninterested in the date or worse, emotionally distant and unlikely to warm up to the relationship. On the other hand, if you monopolize the conversation and merely talk about yourself, you would be in danger of coming off as egotistic and a megalomaniac. So the important thing here is to keep a balance. Also while it is a good thing to ask questions, avoid probing too deeply into personal matters like family and finances until you know the person better. Again when you speak to your date, make sure you make eye contact; there is no need to stare but allowing your gaze to drift all over the room instead of keeping it on her/him would imply that you are bored and disinterested.

Basics of dating etiquette

Like any other date, it is expected that on a blind date too, you will follow the basics of dating etitquette. One of the most important of these is punctuality. If you can’t make it to the date on time, make sure you let your date know about it at least a couple of hours before the date. And do apologize sincerely for it too. Likewise avoid fiddling with your cell phone or i-pad when with your date. Even more importantly, never ever walk away from a date after taking a quick peek at your date from outside the cafe or bar. Your blind date may not look to your liking but walking away is not only rude but very childish. It means that you cannot handle disappointment and are quick to reach half-baked conclusions. Even if you find your date boring or worse behaving in an obnoxious manner, don’t just walk away abruptly. Point out how his/her actions are bothering you and then mention that it is time to say goodbye. As far as possible Be pleasant and finish the date with a happy memory, even if it wasn’t a perfect fairytale ending.

Pick up the tab

Paying for the drinks and dinner constitutes one of the most delicate points in contemporary dating. While in the earlier days, it was understood that the guy will pick up the check, in these times of gender equality things are no longer so simple. This is because men are no longer sure whether they should pay for the dinner straightaway according to convention or wait for their partner to split the bill so as not to offend their gender sensibilities. Again women don’t know if their remaining quiet might make them come off as stingy or their eagerness to split the bill might offend their male partners. Contemporary dating experts believe that for the first date, the guy should still be the one to pay and it is best to be guided by this convention on a blind date too. However do this in as obtrusive a manner as possible so there is no awkwardness when it is time to leave.

Take it slow

Most guys and girls assume that people who indulge in blind dates are miserably lonely or desperate for sex. But just because you are going on a blind date doesn’t mean you should treat it as a sexual arrangement. Instead be Respectful your date and play it slow. First dates conventions anyway preclude sex but If indeed things go the sexual way, well, good for you. Ideally, though you should let caution rule on a blind date. Even if the person who set both of you up is a good friend, don’t let your guard down. Avoid giving away too much information about yourself or invite them home. Bear in mind that you don’t know this person yet so finish your date and go your own way.

Finally, always speak your mind by the end of a blind date. Don’t leave your partner hanging by a thread wondering what you felt about them. If you enjoyed the date and would love to meet the guy or girl again, make sure you say as much. But if you don’t think things can work out for you both, then express that thought too in a friendly but unambiguous manner. That way neither of you will be carrying back mistaken assumptions and false hopes.