How to Find a Gay Partner

Like people of any other sexual orientation, there are all kinds of reasons why gay singles are looking for partners. Often it is simply as a way of hanging out with someone attractive or engaging in mutually fulfilling sexual relationship or even finding someone to love and be loved by. Depending on what you are looking for, here are a few tips on how to find a gay partner.

Decide your priorities

Before you start looking for a gay partner, the most important thing is to determine your expectations from a relationship. Are you just interested in a companionable relationship where you can hang out together and pursue mutual interests or are you interested in a relationship with a strong sexual element? Then again how important do you think are traits like financial success or exclusive commitment in a partner. More importantly are you interested in a temporary attachment or are you looking for a life partner in which case things like values and beliefs would become important; thus while it may not matter if a casual date fudges his taxes, once you are legally his partner, it could have a bearing on your own finances as well. So once you are clear about your priorities in a partner and a relationship, you will know where to look for him and thus have greater chances of finding him.

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Separate your wants and needs

While determining priorities in a relationship, it is easy to get confused by what you would like your partner to have and what you absolutely need from him. For instance it is possible that you think you cannot do without a guy who has travelled widely, no less than five feet ten in height, is a fan of New York Giants, digs Saturday Night Live, is HIV negative, always remembers birthdays and wants a family. Here needs and wants are all jumbled and unless you learn to separate them, you will be severely handicapped in your search for a gay partner. In the above case for example it is imperative that the person you are looking for is HIV free, wants to raise a family and shares deep emotional attachment with a partner. The rest are more in the nature of wants where you may to decide how far you are willing to compromise. Needs are basic and essential requirements in a partner without which you cannot have a meaningful relationship while wants are more in the nature of embellishments and it is good if a partner has more of them. Once you are clear about what you need a partner to have – like debt-free finances – and what you would like him to have - like a suburban house - finding the right kind of partner would be that much easier.

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How social do you want him to be

In all kinds of relationships – whether gay or straight – social likes and dislikes play an important role in their being  success. Among gays though, things become slightly more complicated since even now socializing options with other gays are restricted in some places while not all communities are comfortable with LGBT friends and neighbors. So while looking for a gay partner you will have to ask yourself what do you want in a man socially? Is it important that he like to go dancing and take tango lessons on weekends? Or would you rather he accompany you to basketball games? Perhaps you want a guy who is happy playing poker with friends indoors instead of hosting large dinner parties? Issues like visit to family, double-dating, and larger socializing with co-workers and their families are all pertinent here and you will have to consider what your social expectations are in this relationship.

Know where to meet him

Once you determine the kind of traits you are looking for in a partner, you can frequent the places where you have more chances of meeting him. For instance if you like a partner who is well-read  and fond of poetry but also loves discussions and people, it would not do to frequent libraries and bookshops; rather you would stand a better chance if you join a book club, a debating society or attend celebrity book releases and author signing events. Likewise in order to meet other gay singles who are passionate about the cause of gays, make it a point to attend parades and processions as well as follow online forums discussing LGBT rights. On the other hand if looks and sex appeal are important criteria in a partner, then frequent spas, salons or the gym where you can expect to meet singles who are conscious of their appearance.

How important is sex to you

Gay relationships often have a tortured view on the importance of sex in a relationship. It could be because so much is invested in coming out, that a failure of sexual satisfaction seems hogs more importance than in a straight relationship. Whatever be the reason, when looking for a gay partner, be clear about your priorities in this matter. If you are interested in a long-term relationship, then look for singles who are comfortable with building a relationship gradually rather than jumping into bed on the very first date. Just because you have decided to come out does not mean that you have indulge in an orgy at the first chance – whether to prove something to yourself or to others. At the same time, if an ability to offer good sex figures high on your list of priorities in a partner, you don’t have to compromise on that either. So look for dating sites and gay singles club where you can come across attractive men, eager to have and give you a good time too. Just take care of your sexual health and ensure that both you and your partner are well-protected. Even though the AIDS scare of the 1980s and 1990s has definitely abated, there are still some sexually transmitted infections which seem to affect sexually promiscuous gay men more than others.