Indian Dating in USA - Matchmaking within the Indian Community in USA

Currently the second largest Asian ethnic group in United States, Indian Americans number more than two million, according to the 2003 American Community Survey. Latest data from the Indian American Center for Political Awareness as well as the 2000 US Census reveal further interesting nuggets of information about Indian Americans like the fact that the community exceeds the national average in areas like higher education, professional qualification as well as annual income. The spectacular success of Indian Americans owes a lot to the cultural practices of the community, one of which is marriage and dating.

The first wave of immigration from the Indian subcontinent to the United States goes back to the turn of the twentieth century when sturdy Punjabi men took boats from Hong Kong to arrive in California with the aim of working in farms and lumber camps. After that, the anti-immigration and anti-miscegenation laws brought into force during the two World Wars barred further immigration till 1946 when President Harry Truman signed into law the Luce-Celler Act. This paved the way for further immigration under family re-unification programs and restored to Indian Americans the right to be counted as naturalized citizens of the United States. Academicians formed the majority of skilled Indian migrants to the US till the 1980s when California’s Silicon Valley witnessed a wave of young software professionals and bright entrepreneurs from India eager to make their mark in the land of opportunities. Today, software professionals, doctors, academicians and corporate managers continue to comprise the bulk of highly skilled Indian immigrants to the United States.

Indian American populations traditionally tended to concentrate in regions with warmer climates like California and New Jersey. However in later decades, the population scattered due to better economic prospects and living conditions. The US states with the largest Indian American population in order are California, New York, New Jersey, Texas and Illinois. As of 2009, the New York Metropolitan Area consisting of New York City and adjacent areas within the state of New York as well as nearby areas within the states of New Jersey, Connecticut, and Pennsylvania, was home to approximately 600,000 Indian Americans, comprising by far the largest Indian American population of any metropolitan area in the United States. Among metropolitan areas with significant Indian American population are San Francisco, Los Angeles, Washington/Baltimore, Philadelphia, Boston, Detroit, Houston, Dallas, North Carolina and Atlanta.

Despite many cultural similarities, Indian Americans in the US are not a homogenous block. They belong to various linguistic communities like Punjabis, Gujaratis, Tamilians, Bengalis etc and follow different religions like Hinduism, Sikhism, Christianity and Islam. Many Americans of Indian origin have also migrated from the Indian communities in African, Caribbean and Southeast Asian nations. All these differences come into play when young people look for partners from the Indian Diaspora in America. Like their counterparts in the country of origin, Indian American families too have been the traditional decision makers in matters like marriage.  Under the system of arranged marriages, family elders would finalize marriage alliances based on caste, kinship and economic considerations with some kind of approval from the partners.

Because of the above reasons, dating among the Indian population in the US is a relatively new phenomenon, more common among second and third generation Indian Americans who have had a greater degree of exposure to the American way of life. Those Indians who are the first among their families to migrate to US are usually married or at least have had their marriages fixed back home. The most common meeting grounds among young Indian Americans are community events where there is a large congregation of prospective partners from similar cultural and linguistic backgrounds. Festivals, marriages and religious celebrations are some of the occasions when young Indian Americans can meet and get to know each other. Very often community events organized in places of worship like temples and gurudwaras also function as important venues for checking out girls or guys in the community.

However the widening of emotional and professional horizons among the current generation of Indian Americans means that they are no longer happy with the limited number of prospective partners in their local community. Moreover both girls and boys want partners with similar educational qualifications which ensure some degree of intellectual compatibility. They have as a result began taking advantage of large number of dating services and dating websites, many of which like eHarmony.com either cater to specific ethnic groups or like IndianDating.com and IndianFriendfinder.com which particularly target Indian American singles. While today’s young Indian Americans are more open to relationships with partners from other races, they also understand that choosing a partner from one’s own community gives them an edge over inter-racial relationships where cultural understanding and compatibility are concerned.

With the inevitable acculturation process, earlier generation of Indian Americans recognize the futility of enforcing arranged marriages on their children. To ensure that the young people marry within their own community but willingly, a number of community leaders organize cultural associations and festivals which play an important role in getting eligible men and women to know each other. Most of these associations are formed on linguistic lines like separate associations for Bengalis, Punjabis, Gujaratis, Tamilians and some on religious lines like the ones for Sikhs. A few examples of these cultural bodies are Telugu Association of North America, Tamil Organization in the US, Bengali Association of Baton Rouge and National Punjabi Heritage.

Indian Americans form one of the most highly educated ethnic groups in the US. To a certain extent this is due to the traditional Indian middle-class emphasis on education as a means for better professional opportunities going back to the colonial times in British India. At the same time, the widening of educational options and example from their own community have also been responsible for young Indian Americans doing consistently well in colleges and professional institutes. The campus has thus emerged as another fertile ground for Indian Americans looking for dating partners. Here second and third generation Indian Americans share the same geographical space as those newly arriving from India on scholarships or fellowships. The popularity of campus life is reflected in the number of Indian Student Associations which not only help new arrivals to adjust to life in a new country but also offers a platform of all young people who share the same ethnic identity.

Today Indian Americans enjoy greater freedom than ever in making personal choices. But no matter how they meet, date and marry, a relationship still remains one of the most important decisions in their lives, to be entered after careful consideration and thought.