Indian Matrimonials and Matchmaking in London

London, as the capital city of United Kingdom, has long been a destination of choice for people willing to migrate out of India. Today Indians make up the largest non-white ethnic minority group in London and comprise 6.4% of the city’s entire population. Indians in London have largely been successful in evolving their socio-cultural practices according to the exigencies of a new host country and one of the areas where this negotiation is most visible is in the community’s matchmaking and matrimonial practices.

The history of Indian migration to United Kingdom has largely been the consequence of Britain’s colonization of India and the subcontinent. The earliest Indian settlers in UK  seems to have been the sea-men or ‘lascars’ on eighteenth century East India Company ships who were refused passage back to their homeland and thus forced to make Britain their home. Throughout the century wealthy colonials returning from India brought back with them bearers, ‘ayahs’ or nannies, maids and other domestic staff which were eventually augmented by traders, diplomats, students and officials by the turn of the century. The first major wave of immigration from India to UK took place in the aftermath of the Second World War when Britain needed workers to fill the deficit in its labor force. During the 1970s, the majority of Indian arrivals were those fleeing disturbing political conditions in East African countries like Kenya and Uganda. From late twentieth century onwards stricter immigration rules in Britain have allowed only skilled Indians like doctors, nurses, teachers, academics and computer professionals to settle in the country.

London seems to be favored destination of Indians migrating to UK and this is borne out by figures provided by the Office of National Statistics UK which reveal that as much as 30% of the British Indian population resides in London. The total number of Indians in London is 491,000 according to the “Resident Population Estimates by Ethnic Groups, All Persons – London Neighborhood Statistics” compiled by the Office of National Statistics in 2005. Locations where Indian origin Londoners seem to reside in the largest numbers are Harrow, Hounslow, Brent and Ealing – all in West London –where they make up 22%, 18.3%, 18.1% and 15% of the total population respectively. In East London, most of the Indians can be found in the boroughs of Newham, Redbridge, Greenwich and Waltham Forest. In South London, Croydon and Tooting are regions with the biggest concentration of Indians or Indian origin British people.

Matchmaking practices among Indians in London and UK in general have been significantly influenced by the tradition of arranged marriage which continues to be the norm in India. In the context of an immigrant community, the practice not only retains nostalgic associations of the cultural practices from one’s mother country but takes on the additional complexities of determining identity for an ethnic minority group. Perhaps this is why there have been many cases of forced marriages in the Indian community in London where young people are married off against their wishes to partners from India for cultural or monetary reasons.

However on the whole, the practice of arranged marriage among Indians in UK and London particularly is more about marrying within one’s religious and linguistic community rather than parents forcing partners on their unwilling children. Accordingly an eligible young Hindu Bengali woman will be encouraged by her family to look for potential partners not only from among Indians in general but from the Bengali Hindu community in particular. The same might hold true for Punjabis, Gujaratis, Tamilians and other groups who might insist on caste specifications too. Since the Indian community in London lacks the traditional matchmaking network of the motherland, community festivals, family weddings and religious celebrations in London form the ideal venues to look for potential partners. The entire Gujarati community of Wembley coming together for Navratri or Diwali celebrations for instance can prove happy hunting ground for Gujarati singles. Similarly Baisakhi celebrations for Punjabis in Southall or the Durga Puja for Bengalis of London can offer ample matchmaking opportunities for elders of the community and dating solutions for the younger singles.

With the young generation demanding increasing control over their personal choices, community elders now recognize the need to provide young people with enough networking facilities so that they are encouraged to meet and marry within their own community. Indian associations play a crucial role to this end and there are a large number of them to be found in London. Associations like the London Tamil Sangam or the Bengali Cultural Association of London not only enable members of their community to settle in a foreign country but also offer various avenues of social interaction among its various members. Other than these there are cultural associations like the Bharatiya Vidya Bhavan and Institute of Indian Culture which keep alive the love for traditional Indian arts among those living in a foreign land. Professional associations like the BAPIO or British Association of Physicians of Indian Origin again do more than offering practical assistance to its members and offer them valuable social networking opportunities as well.

The Internet has opened up dating and matchmaking opportunities for singles of the world as never before. Indians in London too have proved to be more than willing to make use of various matchmaking websites while looking for potential partners. The interesting thing about this option is that it not only lets young people to search for partners on the basis of mutual interests and personal attractiveness but also lets families screen potential partners for their children on the basis of community specifications. Popular Indian matrimonial sites like shaadi.com allow one to search for London-based partners by religious and linguistic groups while those like asiansinglesolution.com enable young people to find their own partners.  Other than these there are several websites like bolobolo.co.uk or internet based meet up groups like London Spice which provide fun ways for Indians living in London to interact with each other besides informing them about Indian-specific events and activities in the city.

Indians in London have emerged as one of the most successful and hard-working communities among all ethnic minority groups in the city. They have learned to adapt their cultural practices to external circumstances and the matrimonial practices of the community are an example of this delicate but ultimately successful negotiation.