Sikh Matrimonials in USA - Finding a Sikh Bride or Groom

The Sikhs were among the earliest South Asian communities to migrate to the USA, having landed on the shores of the New World as far back as the late 1800s. The Sikhs trace their origin to the state of Punjab in the Indian subcontinent whose violent Partition in the aftermath of political independence from British colonialism has been instrumental in shaping the political and cultural identity of modern day Sikhs. This is not only reflected in their fierce avowal to their religion which is distinct from Hinduism followed by Punjabis of the same geographical region but also evident in their matrimonial and other cultural practices.

The first Sikhs to migrate to North America from the Indian subcontinent took the boat via Hong Kong to arrive on the west coast at the turn of the twentieth century. Here they sought jobs in the lumber camps of California, Oregon as well as in the Pacific and Eastern Railroad construction. Earlier all migrants from the Indian subcontinent were known as ‘Hindoos’, the term most often being used in a pejorative sense to refer to all migrant laborers of South Asian origin. The First and Second World Wars saw significant number of Sikh men fighting on the Allied side as part of the British colonial armies. After being drafted out, many of them settled in UK from where they eventually migrated to the US in the mid-twentieth century. Among the Sikh migrants in the latter half of the twentieth century, many were educated professionals eager to make use of better economic opportunities of the West. In recent years, the dependents and extended family members of primary immigrants have made up the majority of Sikh immigration.

Today the Sikhs make up an approximately 200,000 strong community in the US, according to the Encyclopedia of diasporas, (Ember, Carol R. 2004). The biggest concentration of the Sikh population is in the Yuba Valley, California where Sikhism is the second-most widely followed religion. Other places with sizeable Sikh numbers are the San Francisco Bay area, Stockton and Modesto in California, Seattle, Chicago, Baltimore, New Mexico, Portland, Detroit and Oregon.

The core of modern day Sikh identity hinges on its religion which is different from either Hinduism or Islam followed by other South Asians of Punjabi heritage. The Gurudwara or the Sikh place of worship lies at the heart of Sikh social life. In its efforts to perpetuate the Sikh religion and culture, the gurudwaras in the US also function as a meeting point for Sikh families. This not only fosters an ethnic similarity among the members of the community but also gives the younger generations a sense of their religious and cultural roots. Given the fact that dating is not traditionally encouraged in Sikh families, the gurudwaras have emerged as popular venues for young Sikhs to meet each other as much as families mingle to look for a prospective Sikh bride or groom for their children.

Then there are large numbers of Sikh associations in the US which function as important means of social, cultural and business networking. Some of the best known are the Sikh Council on Religion and Education (SCORE) and the United Sikhs Organization. These help newly arrived immigrants to adjust to a new land while offering emotional succor and a cultural meeting point for long time Sikh residents of the country. The religious festivals like Baisakhi as well as other cultural events organized by such associations are a great way of families of prospective partners to meet besides allowing the young people to check each other out. In fact the Yuba City Sikh Parade of 2009 is reported to have attracted a crowd of 75,000 people from all over the world.

Other than the formal events organized by Sikh associations, there are community celebrations like weddings, engagements and births where Sikh families get together to enjoy, network and keep an eye out for a prospective bride or groom. This makes sense in a community where similarity of religion is crucial in matrimonial negotiations. Even though Sikhs are supposed to eschew the caste system which is a major criterion among other Indian American communities, other considerations like economic background and physical appearances continue to be important for families.

However as the second and third generation Sikh people get accustomed to the American way of life, there are fewer adherences to the system of arranged marriages. Even when young Sikhs wish to marry within their own religion, they prefer to make use of modern tools like the internet to come across potential life partners. Dating and matrimonial sites not only allow them a wider canvas to look for a partner but also enables them to check for emotional and psychological compatibility before a taking a decision on marriage. Community sites have matrimonial pages while popular matrimonial websites have links to US-based singles.

Fuelling the trend of personal choices is the student Sikh population on various American college campuses. Even though Sikhs have traditionally made good soldiers and entrepreneurs, in recent years they have been increasingly going for higher education. This is reflected in the numerous Sikh student bodies which have come up in universities, one of the best known being the United Sikh Association in the New York University. Such associations also do their bit to help young Sikh men and women meet each other besides their primary goal of spreading awareness of the Sikh religion on the campus.

Even though the Sikhs share many of the cultural practices of the descendents of Hindu and Muslim Punjabis of the Indian subcontinent, their religion is distinct from both.  The chief signifiers of Sikhism today in the US are the beard as well as the turban worn by the men and the belief of the community in the Gurbani, the holy book of Sikhism. This importance on their separate religion and its external signifiers lies at the heart of the Sikh identity and informs their matrimonial practices as well.