Rent a Friend in Japan - Renting Companions in Japanese Cities

Japan is one of the first countries to witness the birth of the rent-a-friend business which is now becoming a global phenomenon. Sweeping socio-economic changes combined with a deeply ingrained social customs have led to the rise in this service sector in Japan. The service has its own plus and minus points with psychologists warning against substituting fiction for fact and yet there is no denying that the trend is here to stay.

The rent-a-friend system works like any other service which can be hired in exchange of money. Clients pay a certain sum to an agency which in turn provides an individual, known as an agent,  to act as a friend, relative, co-worker, boss or even spouse at social functions. The agent may charge anything from 15000 Yuan or 100 to 150 Sterling pounds to make an appearance at a major event like a wedding but more if he is expected to make a speech or sing karaoke at the party.

Japan has around ten rent-a-friend agencies, according to a 2009 report in the Guardian. The report also estimates that the number of such agencies have almost doubled in the past eight years. One of the most popular names in this business in Japan is the Office Agent which is based in Tokyo and has as many as a thousand people on its payroll. Among other smaller ventures is the one reported by the Guardian which goes by the name of Hagemashi Tai or ‘I want to cheer you up’ agency.

In Japan, Rent-a-friend services are mostly sought to keep up appearances in social situations. Some of the most common ones are where such hired agents stand in for friends and co-workers in weddings as well as funerals. Clients often request the services of an agent to appear as the best man at weddings where he would deliver a moving speech for the groom and the bride mingle with guests and then perhaps quietly slip away once the party is over.  In some cases even parents at a formal match-making ceremony have been known to come from an agency. Again there are instances where a single parent like a divorced mom may hire the services of a man to be present at a school function for her kids. Appearing as an ‘uncle’, this person would then cheer the kids, record their participation on a hand-held video camera and join in the adult-and-children races. If required he would even make small-talk with other guardians about the kids and at the end of the event, return to the agency without ever setting eyes on the ‘nephew’ or ‘niece’ again.

In many cases, the rent-a-friend system may also play a role in personal relationships. The Guardian report mentions the case of a woman who hired the services of a male “friend” in an attempt to revive a flagging love affair. Suspecting that her long distance boyfriend was losing interest in her, the woman asked this “friend” to come upon them when they were out on a date, introduce himself as her former acquaintance and then express interest in catching up with her – all in the hope that the present boyfriend would be goaded into a jealousy and his affection for the woman would be rekindled.

Providers of the rent-a-friend service are careful to differentiate themselves from just another dating service. They insist that a lot of serious effort and careful preparation goes behind every appearance made by a hired ‘friend’. He or she is expected to learn every detail of the client’s life – their social circle, past events, as well as personal and professional relationships. All this preparation is crucial in the event of a guest or relative at the event asking the ‘friend’ a detail about the client. If the answer is incorrect or evaded, it can seriously damage the client’s reputation and with it that of the rent-a-friend business too.

In recent years there has been a surge in demand for agents required to stand in for colleagues, bosses and friends from work. In the aftermath of one of the worst recessions faced by Japan post Second World War, thousands of men and women have lost jobs across the country. However in order to save face at social functions and family gatherings,  the mandatory presence of co-workers and bosses is now being increasingly filled up by agents from the rent-a-friend services.

Despite the underlying deception, there are certain situations where the rent-a-friend service may actually be useful. Arriving with a ‘friend’ or a ‘partner’ at a party hosted by a cousin or a distant relative may help a client to avoid unnecessary explanations or prying questions from other guests. More importantly it will enable the client to comply with the laws of social etiquette so strictly followed in Japanese culture. Again as in the case of the divorced mom who hired the services of an “uncle” to attend the kids’ sports event at school, it may save the children, however temporarily, from ridicule over an absent father and even bullying from older kids

Problems arise when the fiction is expected to fill the vacuum in factual life. With the breakdown of traditional family structures, individuals now face increasing loneliness in their lives. While most of the cases of hired ‘friends’ are meant to keep up appearance at social occasions, some offer one-to-one companionship too. Psychologists however point out that paid friends can never take the place of meaningful relationships. The comfort and emotional support that an actual friend or family member can provide in the long run is bound to be lacking from a paid ‘friend’ who has been merely hired to put up a day’s appearance. If the client seeks to connect with the friend the very next day after an event, the client will probably be reminded that this is a paid service.

The paradox of these times is that while there is an abundance of communication channels from cell phones and speed dating events to Skype and social networking sites, there is an inversely proportional lack of people to fill up the contact list. People are too busy, isolated or unwilling to adapt to social conventions which in earlier times kept together the social fabric. Like everything else on hire, contacts can also be had for a price but whether they can conform to the old adage of a “friend in need is a friend in deed” remains very much in doubt.