Transsexual Dating in USA - Transsexualism and Relationships

Unfortunately, transsexualism is not as widely accepted in the United States as it could be (it's a step behind homosexuality in that regard). However, it's certainly not altogether shunned by America's society (as evidenced by the popularity of drag shows) and there's no reason that you can't have as rewarding and fulfilling a love life as everyone else can. As a transsexual you'll have to go about things somewhat differently than those who were born in the right body, but at the end of the day you'll find yourself in the perfect relationship so long as you're willing to try.

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As a transsexual, you've probably already come to terms with the fact that not all people are going to be willing to date you. If you haven't faced this, then you need to. Some people are grossed out by transsexualism and want nothing to do with it, while others have no problem with it but still would feel uncomfortable dating a transsexual person. This is not really so different from someone being unwilling to date an overweight person or a short person though, so don't sweat your unique sexual identity as anything more than a character trait that will mesh well with some and not so well with others; just be aware that certain people are searching for different things.

If you've got the perfect look and sound of the gender which you're meant to be, then the thought of trying to date without telling your partner that you are a transsexual has probably crossed your mind, especially if you've tried being honest in the past and faced rejection as a result (and rejection here is always a legitimate possibility). Here's the bottom line as far as that is concerned: you can live your own life as a lie if you want (and considering that you're transsexual you're probably the total opposite of those who decide to be untruthful with themselves) but you just can't force your partner to live in your lie. There is no way that such a blatant lack of honesty can translate into a truly meaningful relationship. By not telling your partner, you would essentially be having an affair of sorts and sabotaging the relationship from the moment it becomes serious. Things like this have a way of coming out eventually anyway (cutting off one's past entirely is virtually impossible), no matter how careful you are.

The ideal time to tell your partner about the fact that you are transsexual is arguable but it's probably in your best interest to come clean early on in the relationship. The reason for this is that the risk of not being accepted is pretty big (compared to telling your partner that you were formerly married or something like that for example) and in the case of telling men about it there's even a bit of a risk that they might become violent if they feel as though they've been lied to for too long or the thought of having been intimate with someone who used to be a man is too overwhelming for them. You are the gender that you are and there's certainly no need to go around parading the fact that you used to be a different gender (unless you want to; there's nothing wrong with being proud of this as it does show a certain type of strength and character) but on really becoming interested in someone and seeing them becoming interested in you it's probably time to reveal the truth about your past. “Transsexual” is one of those words that (courtesy of society) can evoke some involuntary negative thoughts from your partner so you might want to use the term “gender identity disorder” instead, to describe your situation. Be prepared to explain yourself fully and let your date know that psychologically you have always been the gender that you are now, and that physically you have taken the steps or are in the process of taking the steps necessary to make the proper changes. If your partner is an understanding individual  and really feels a strong connection with you as a person, then there's a decent enough chance that the response you receive will be favorable (though it will likely be mixed with a few “wow” type remarks as most people are just not ready to hear this type of thing).

Some men like the notion of those sexual encounters which are “forbidden” or particularly kinky. Being intimate with a transsexual may fall into this category and be quite erotic for certain guys (in the same way that some men have a foot fetish or an affinity for being violently whipped into submission). Likewise, many women (this is becoming more and more popular over the last decade or so) are bisexual and love the pleasures received by both men and women, so it'd be pretty hypocritical for them to be against being intimate with a man who used to be a woman or vice versa (in fact the thought of getting both in one might even seem completely ideal and mysteriously alluring). As such, you're hardly some sort of sexual oddity or just an attractive individual who everyone would be a bit more interested in had you been born the gender you are today; the uniqueness you offer may be precisely what someone is looking for.

Gender identity disorder is an unfair burden to bear for anyone, but by accepting who you are and living as yourself, you can lead an enormously enjoyable life anyway. Think of yourself as the bald guy who continuously styles his hair in a silly comb over, finally decides to give up on faking his youth and shaves all of his hair short, and suddenly gets more girls as a result. Everyone has imperfections, but if you own them and accept them then a weight comes off your shoulders and the world is in your hands. You've already owned your birth mix up and faced it, so consider it history, consider yourself strong, and seek out the individual who just doesn't care about the receding hairline.