When your Partner Has a Poor Sense of Hygiene

Good hygiene is important not only for the sake of one’s own health but if one wishes to be in a mutually satisfying relationship. While poor personal hygiene like bad breath and body odor can turn a partner off romantically, lack of hygiene in home may again turn out to be a deal breaker in case of a more stable relationship. However the good news is that though gross, such conditions are relatively easier to remedy. So here are a few things you can do when your partner falls short in the hygiene department.

Give a hint

What you can do about a partner lacking personal hygiene would significantly depend on what stage of dating relationship you are in. If you have just got acquainted with this girl or guy, all it may take to remedy the situation is perhaps a well-placed hint since in early days partners are more sensitive to each other’s verbal cues. Suppose you were first drawn to your partner because of his handsome looks or her brilliant conversational skills, but when you got near, you realized that they still had to brush up their personal hygiene skills. Instead of nipping a potential relationship in the bud, give the guy or girl a chance – perhaps he/she may have more to them than dragon breath or body odor. So even though it may be a touchy subject, bring all your diplomatic skills to play and leave a series of subtle hints on how it may be easier for you to get closer to him or her.

You could start off by telling your partner how you simply love snuggling up to people who smell clean and freshly-showered. If you know or perhaps like this girl or guy well enough to give them a gift, settle on a nice perfume or cologne within your budget and make a big deal of it. Tell them that you went to great lengths to find out what fragrance would suit them best and ask them to wear it whenever they are with you. This way your suggestion will appear to be hugely romantic, but more importantly serve a practical purpose – which is of course, taking care of the problem of your partner’s body odor.

If it’s bad breath that is putting you off, try the well-worn “here’s-a-gum” trick. When you are with your partner, off him/her a gum or a mint as casually as possible and for good measure start talking about how disgusting it is when people don’t practice oral hygiene. Such definite hints should be adequate for any sensible person to pick up the message that is being sent out.

If your partner has overall poor hygiene, you can go the whole hog and buy your partner a gift basket. put together in it items a person suffering from poor hygiene could ever want - toothpaste, a toothbrush, perfume, body wash, shampoo, Tic Tacs, and Winterfresh gum. The best part about his indirect approach is that it need not offend anyone’s sensibilities and yet bring about the desired result.

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Take a more direct approach

Unfortunately, the subtle approach may not always be the most effective one. If your partner is one of those people who are unable to take a hint even if it is being shoveled on them, it may be time to try a more direct approach. Suppose the two of you are wandering in a shopping mall, pause in front of a personal care store and talk about how poor hygiene like bad breath or body odor can be a real passion killer and even ruin potential relationship. You could even do this while watching TV together and when a relevant commercial comes up. Discuss the various causes which are responsible for these problems and point out remedies which help to maintain personal hygiene.

Poor domestic hygiene

Poor hygiene in a relationship is usually understood in a bodily context but it can be equally damaging if the partners live together and one has a lower sense of domestic hygiene than the other. Signs of poor domestic hygiene include not cleaning the toilet, not getting rid of rubbish, not washing clothes or bedding frequently and not storing food properly. Far more than poor personal hygiene, it is lack of domestic hygiene in a partner that can prove directly harmful to you if you are living in the same home.

Discuss it

Discussing the problem of poor hygiene may also be easier when you have known your partner for some time.  If your partner’s poor sense of hygiene is a frequent problem or if you have already tried using pointed remarks and failed, choose a time and place when you both can talk in a relaxed frame of mind. Be honest about what is ruining your romantic moments together and also point out how bad breath and body odor can turn out to be damaging in professional context as well. Likewise mention how poor domestic hygiene can lead to spread of infections. However you need to use tact to get your message across. You could for instance request your partner to brush their teeth or take a shower before getting intimate with you or throw left-over food in the right bin. And when they do that, don’t forget to show how pleased you are – this will not only help them to realize what was bothering you but also encourage them to be more mindful of their personal and domestic hygiene in future.

Graver issues at hand

However if you find that your partner’s poor hygiene is a chronic problem, it may be time to seek professional advice. While short-term bad breath may be caused by consumption of strong-smelling foods or lack of oral hygiene, if the problem persists for long and does not appear to be solved by occasional mints or mouth gargle, it could be indicative of underlying dental problems or lifestyle causes like smoking. Likewise persistent and foul body odor especially in the genital regions could signal an infection and when accompanied by other symptoms like rashes and discharges, sexually transmitted diseases too. This is not to say that you should go overboard and drag your partner to the nearest hospital, but just that if the problem is chronic, it merits serious attention and may even be crucial for your partner’s overall health and well-being.

Decide what is right for you

However if your partner continues to ignore your concerns and more importantly habits which are potentially hazardous to their own health, you may need to take a call. Decide if this person is really who you want to be with, especially if poor hygiene is accompanied by other evidence of a harmful lifestyle, like abusing alcohol or drugs, overeating, depression and so on. On the other hand, if you are committed to him/her, you need to look for professional help as much for your relationship as for your partner’s own health.

Dealing with a partner who has a poor sense of hygiene is not the easiest thing to do. On one hand it is impossible to get intimate with such a person and on the other, it is difficult to talk about for fear of causing offence since after all nobody likes being told how bad they smell. The only positive thing about the problem is that unlike relationship issues like infidelity and abuse, this is far easier to treat. There are ways and means by which you and your partner can find a remedy to this problem and get your romantic life back on track.