When you Want to Get Married - Ten Steps to Finding Someone to Marry
by kalyani10
Now that you have it all – a great career, good friends and enjoyable interests – you seem to feel it is the right time to look for a life partner. But then where do you start- it is not like you are in need for a date for the evening and don’t mind hooking up with practically anybody. It is not always easy to know where to look for a spouse but here are ten ways you can begin your search.
- Decide what you want
The very first step to finding someone to marry should comprise of asking yourself what exactly you are looking for in a relationship. This could range from companionship, emotional closeness, sexual intimacy to financial stability or any combination of the above. Also figure out if you want to be specifically married or just into a long-term committed relationship. Today relationships include a whole lot of configurations among two people in love so ensure that you are not settling for marriage out of lack of choices.
- Shortlist the desirable qualities in a partner
Make a list of the all the qualities you would like your partner to possess so that you are not tempted to settle for just anybody who comes along. A good idea would be to make three separate lists of the must-haves, the good-to-haves and the deal-breakers in a potential partner. For instance the first list could include a faithful personality, the second a good height in a man or long hair in a woman and the third a habit of smoking. This way you will be able to choose someone based on the really important things and avoid dating those who are completely unsuitable for you as a life partner. Again making the lists will allow you to compromise on the minor issues like hair color or body type but not on the major ones like generosity or financial stability.
- Sound out family members
Very often the most effective approach is also the simplest. Perhaps this is why it does not occur to many singles to ask among family members to help find a life partner. Also maybe the idea of anything remotely to do with an arranged marriage is such an anathema to singles that they would rather their families had nothing to do with their love lives. But just think about it, who knows you better than your parents or the people you have grown up with? For the same reason they are ideally placed to look for potential partners who will be most compatible with your personality and lifestyle. Best of all, you can meet and check out a prospective bride/groom in company without incurring the awkwardness or expenses of a date.
- Take the help of friends
Your friends have always been there to help you fix a date or bail you out of a lonely evening. This time however let them know that you are looking for a serious relationship and ask if they know of any singles who would be compatible with you. At the same time, be more social and don’t pass up on parties or get-togethers to celebrate a pal’s birthday or a promotion. Such occasions are the usual meeting grounds for people from more or less common social and professional backgrounds and thus hugely effective ways of making new friends.
- Enlarge your circle
A good way to meet new people is to join clubs and societies catering to your favorite hobbies. You could for instance join a book club if you enjoy reading or become a member of an adventure sports club if you get your thrills from hair-raising activities like sky-diving or para-jumping. There are several such groups out there each catering to different interests. And the best part about finding a prospective life partner through any of these clubs is that you both will be sharing a mutual hobby or two and thus remain linked in more ways than romantically.
- Explore the new
You may have heard of the saying that to get different results, do things differently. If you have been frequenting libraries and hiking clubs without meeting anyone interesting, perhaps it is time to explore unchartered territories. Sign up for a Latin dance class even if you have never shaken a leg in your life. Or join a travel club which visits new places every month. You never know who you might end up meeting at any one of these outings or events.
- Attend your community dos
A good way of seeking a life partner is through your church or the religious body of the faith you follow. Religious leaders often organize social get-togethers and even matchmaking events for singles in their community. Apart from the fact that marrying someone from your own community will mean a shared way of life, it will also assure familiarity with their background so that you don’t end up marrying someone who is already married or in a relationship.
- Go online
Gone are the times when signing up on dating websites was seen as a sign of desperation and social ineptitude. Today online dating is an essential part of mainstream dating culture and in fact as good a way of seeking life partners. Certain websites cater particularly to long term and committed relationships and sites like eHarmony.com are believed to be hugely popular among those looking for prospective life partners.
- Sign up with matchmaking services
If you value discretion and don’t like the prospect of wading through hundreds of emails and photos on a matrimonial website, then a better idea would be to hire the services of a professional matchmaker. For a fee, these service providers would not only shortlist prospective partners but also take care of verification and other such matters.
- Take your time
Once you have found a person you believe is most compatible with you, give some time to your relationship to flourish. Instead of hastening with a marriage proposal, spend six months to a year getting to know this person well so that you are completely sure when the time to pop the question comes.
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