How to Manage Money as a Newly Married Couple

After infidelity, money figures as the most common reason for conflict in modern marriages. Too little of it can be a source of anxiety especially when there are mortgages and loans to be paid off. Again too much of it can also lead to inflated egos and breaking bonds. However the good news for you is that as a newly married couple, your financial responsibilities are relatively few; thus the earlier you make money management a habit, the better your chances of leading a comfortable life later on.

Identify your priorities

The first thing you should do as a newly married couple is to sit together and identify major financial priorities. Paying off a mortgage or putting aside for a yearly vacation usually figures foremost on the minds of recently married couples. However priorities may change few years down the marriage and once you have kids, you may find yourself looking at increased medical and grocery expenses not to mention the prospect of meeting hefty tuition costs and college expenses a few more years down the line. Even though you may not feel the need to save for all these expenses right now, keeping in mind such major financial commitments of the future will help you to plan better. Conflicts about money usually arise when partners have differing priorities. While a husband may believe in splurging on a new sports car, a wife may feel that the money is better spent on a long vacation to an exotic location. It is here that the maturity of a couple is called for. They can either compromise on what they want or when they want it. For instance the couple could go for weekend trip to a more affordable destination and go for a cheaper model of a new car. Or they could get the fancy car now and start saving right away for a vacation next year. Whatever the decision, it should keep in mind the desires of both partners and the resources available.

Keeping track of expected expenses

As a newly married couple you may be tempted to splurge on movies, exotic vacations, expensive gifts and fine dining. Since you have all the time in the world for each other and two disposable incomes, spending them will come easy. However, one of the most frequent causes of financial troubles in a marriage is when expenses outrun earnings. To address the problem, start out by adding up all your earnings and then proceed to make a household budget. Include daily expenses like food and transport, weekly buys like groceries, school supplies, gas and items of personal care as well as monthly debits like bills and fees for services. To this add ten percent for entertainment like movies or eating out. Add another ten percent to meet emergency expenses like healthcare or car troubles. If you have mortgages to pay off or any other kind of loan repayment, include them in your budget as well. Then see if your earnings can meet the sum of your expenses. If not, cut down on your entertainment layout and other discretionary expenses. This is only a rough idea of what should go into planning a household budget since the details will vary according to the needs of a family. However the important thing is that both spouses should agree on the importance of living within one’s means and work towards it.

Making saving a habit

Even when spouses live within their means, some day they may wake up to find that they do not have enough money to meet emergency expenses or a major purchase. For this, it is essential to put a little by on a regular basis. A good idea is to put aside one-tenth of your earnings every month to create a nest egg which can then be used to buy a state-of-the-art home entertainment system or meet unforeseen medical bills. However this is possible only when both partners co-operate on the idea and in general, learn to inculcate good saving habits.

Make mutual financial decisions

Traditionally men were the breadwinners of the family which is why they exercised greater control over financial decisions. Even though wives and mothers put in equal or more amount of labor, their effort was not rewarded financially and hence their financial needs and comforts were largely ignored. Now however women are financially independent and don’t need to depend on their husbands for meeting their material needs. Still both partners should be careful not to use money to control the relationship. Both are equal partners in a marriage and their emotional investment is equally valuable. Even if your spouse earns less than you, allow him/her to have as much say in financial decisions.

Avoid using money as a bargaining chip

If you feel that any of your needs as a partner, like greater intimacy, are not being met within a marriage, avoid using the lure of money or expensive gifts to get what you want. This will not only make your partner feel cheap about your relationship but more importantly leave the underlying issues unresolved. Rather set aside some time to thrash out the basic reasons of your dissatisfaction and see how they may be resolved between the two of you.

There are different ways of looking at money

Very often marital conflicts over money are not merely about differing priorities but rise from divergent financial philosophies. While your spouse’s family may have been great believers in living debt-free, your college education may have been smoothly sponsored by loans. Whatever be your attitudes toward money management, the final goal is to meet your priorities as a couple and be satisfied as individuals.

Have regular discussions

It is not enough to set down a few guidelines on expenses and then go about each other’s ways. You should make it a point to have a chat on money matters on a regular basis, maybe once every month. Mark a date on the calendar if need be, so that you both can reschedule other engagements. Use this time to discuss individual indulgences and joint financial obligations besides keeping track of expenses and earnings in your marriage. If you have any queries regarding a major expense by your partner, clarify it at your discussion instead of brooding over it and getting mad at your spouse later on.

Discussing money matters is hardly an enjoyable task for most people but is necessary if two people are to share a life together. The key to solving money issues as a newly married couple lies in effective communication between you and your spouse so that you both can work as a team towards accomplishing mutual financial goals and at the same time experience personal satisfaction.