How to Get your Wife Back from Another Man?

Marriages, while being made in Heaven, are lived out in the midst of earthly impulses and sordid realities where fights and adultery are all too common. Thus if you find that your wife has taken the easy way out of marital discord and walked into the arms of another man, here are a few things you can do to get her back.

Ask yourself if this is what you want

Before you set about winning your wife back, think calmly and carefully about your motives for doing so. Is it because you still love her and honestly wish to set right whatever may have gone wrong or is your attempt motivated by a misplaced sense of hurt pride and deflated ego? Or are to you keen on getting your wife back because you are worried about the impact of a divorce on your kids or finances? If a woman cheated on her husband, he has solid grounds for divorce and even the law may be on his side. However, if estranged couples are able to recommit themselves, broken marriages can still be repaired, even those damaged by adultery. The only people who can determine whether a broken union can be saved are the husband and wife themselves and this can start only when they are honest about their feelings and motives.

Get back with your ex with this step-by-step guide.

Take it easy

If you really love your wife and wish to win her back from an unhealthy attachment, you can start by pretending to accept the extra-marital relationship. Instead of giving way to jealous rages and emotional blackmail, remain calm and matter-of-fact about the situation. In fact if your wife was goaded into the affair out of revenge or neglect, she may even expect you to throw a fit over it and would quite likely derive some pleasure on seeing you in a state of anger and despair.  If your wife has actually moved out, don’t go about cajoling her to return and in fact putting some physical distance between you two might even be a good thing at this time. If she is still staying with you, avoid snooping on her phone calls, emails and personal papers even though you know for certain that they are evidence of her affair. Even if it is not a rebound relationship on your wife’s part, letting her have her own way will give her a sense of breathing space and may clear her head so as to be able to see where true happiness lies.

Think about what went wrong

Use the cooling-off time to think about what went wrong in your marriage which led your wife into the arms of another man. Did you both fight over finances, sex or in-laws? Was it neglect for her feelings and interests? Or perhaps there was an insistence on her becoming someone she didn't want to be? Indeed it may even be possible that you still loved her but were unable to express your emotions in a way that she expected from you. Marital therapists and relationship experts believe that long before the actual act of adultery or walking out on a partner, the fault lines begin to appear in the relationship which are only too often ignored or go unrecognized. They usually start as one spouse begins to devalue the other and their lives together. It is a subtle thing at first, often occurring without either partner being aware of the cracks.
But as time passes, one individual begins to feel trapped in a relationship with someone he or she no longer respects. If things have come to such a pass that your wife has been drawn into an affair, it is time to seriously introspect about underlying issues and what you both can do to make things right.

Remain in touch

Even as you put some distance between you and your wife, don’t go to the other extreme of breaking off all contact since ‘out of sight is out of mind’. Your ultimate aim is win her back from the new guy in her life and not help her forget you. Thus remain in cordial touch with her and help her out in case she makes a sincere approach for assistance. This mature attitude will increase her respect for you even as it makes her partner uncomfortable.

Network extensively

Since things between you and your wife are far from peachy, it is time to tap into your network of common friends and family. You can inform common friends that you are still in love with her and hope that she will come back to you. This will send a clear message to your wife that the doors of reconciliation are open for her and all she has to do is to reach out. At the same time, use your network to dig up any dirt on her new man. Find out about any lapses of judgment on the guy’s part in either personal or professional context; however you may need to employ some finesse in acquainting your wife of the guy’s misdemeanors since outright accusations may backfire with her defending him staunchly.  Instead you can inform common friends or co-workers about the guy’s unsavory past and then wait for the grapevine to do its job.

Speak her love language

Sometimes spouses, especially couples who have been married a long while, simply fall out of love with each other – it is possible your wife may be drawn to an affair not because major issues like money or sex but merely because you have been busy with your work or because you stopped telling her that you loved her. If you wish to win back your wife, eventually you will have to find out her language of love and speak it accordingly – in other words you will have to do things that make her feel loved and cherished. If a wife feels loved through acts of service, try to do chores or run errands to please her. If her primary love language is quality time, though, then you do better by accompanying her on long walks or shared activities. On the other hand if your wife feels loved when someone gives her a gift, you can win her back by giving her thoughtful presents.

Finally grab your chance. Sooner or later, your wife will have a major fight with the new man in her life. It is then you should take full advantage of the situation and offer her your support and understanding. If you have done your homework and are able to handle things smoothly, it is only a matter of time before your wife comes back to her senses and realizes that true love lies with you.