What romantic fiction for women can teach you about seducing a woman

Romantic fiction is written almost exclusively by women and for women. Such novels usually have a female character as the protagonist and are concerned with women - their relations in family, love and marriage, their place in society and the world and their dreams for the future. Critics might point out that they're exclusively heterosexual, practically always white and have impossible situations as plot lines; even so, for men looking to seduce women, romantic fiction may offer valuable lessons.

Appeal to their love of exotica

Most romance novels are set in a wild, far-flung and exotic locale: Queensland, the Western Cape of South Africa, the Scottish Highlands. Not only that, even their heroes bear fantastic titles like Sin Watermount or Don Julio Valdares, Tarquin Roscuro or Duc Breul de Polain et Bouvais. But even if you cannot change your name to any of these, try and cultivate an air of exotica around you – mention your travels to faraway places, your explorations through the deserts of Sahara or mountains of Tibet. There are few things which capture a woman’s imagination as an exotic locale and in your path to seducing her, this can mark a definite starting point.

Play aloof in the beginning

In a typical romantic novel, a heroine seems to be struggling with studies, job, family commitments and other situations which bring her self-worth into question. At a time when she is feeling truly low, she runs into an unusual and intriguing man who openly demonstrates his dislike for her, or else pretty much ignores her entirely. While this does not mean that you will get a woman in bed by running her down, this trope of romantic fiction points to an inescapable truth – the best way to get a woman’s attention is to feign disinterest.

A little rough love

Just after the hero has made his contempt or at least disinterest in the pretty heroine more or less evident, all of a sudden, beside himself with desire, he will pounce - just a bit - on the woman who he has been ignoring but who actually has him obsessed; sometimes with the "punishing kiss" and sometimes with gentleness. But there will be a thrilling undercurrent of barely-restrained passion and he might "mutter a curse under his breath”. Indeed this element of sexual tension is integral to a romance fiction and is built up by a relentless physical context - every male protagonist in a romance novel is tall, dark, with taut muscles while every girl has lovely skin, hair and a svelte figure. Sexual chemistry is immediate and overwhelming and physical atmosphere overrides all other plot elements.  Fairly frequently, a bit of serious dialogue in a romance novel is interrupted to tell let the readers know that the hero “felt his knob throbbing in his pants” or that the heroine “felt molten within at the heat of his presence”. So if you are keen on seducing a woman, there is no option but to work on your physical charms, and if possible, indulge in a little rough play when the opportunity for intimacy presents itself.

Damaged goods are attractive

Most heroes in romantic fiction start out as constitutionally incapable of a long-term romantic commitment. Either a parent’s divorce left the hero traumatized or the dashing aristocrat ended a fight with his grandfather by swearing never to marry. Romantic fiction is typified by main characters who absolutely refuse to fall in love. That is until they do. And this is usually brought about by the heroine’s attempts to change the hero so that at the end of the novel, the macho, emotionally-walled male protagonist is convinced to open up and admit that love is possible. The romance heroine draws her man into the domestic sphere, the realm of women, of home, in order to resolve their differences. Men must be transformed by love and enter into the woman's realm in order to emerge as fully-realized human beings: this is the core message of romance fiction. Maybe this is what your woman really wants from your relationships too – an emotional obstacle course, a chance to turn “no, never” into “yes, always.” So in order to get your woman to where you want her,  tell her how vulnerable she makes you feel. Appear as a kind of damaged goods or person in necessity for healing in the beginning and eventually give her a chance to ‘fix’ you – this would give her a thrill like no other and you, a solid chance at seducing her.

Bring up a hot ex to expedite things

In romantic fiction, the heroine initially spends most of her time fighting off advances from or struggling with her own commitments to pay much attention to the brooding admirer. But there is nothing like bringing a hot ex into the picture to move things faster. Once the curvaceous or vastly successful or sometimes both ex turns up, the female protagonist is sure to get up and take notice. All the hero needs to do is to greet his ex warmly, call her by an intimate pet name and the next thing he knows the ice-maiden is all ready to melt in his strong arms. The Lesson for you to learn from this is that a frightened woman is a motivated woman, so keep the ex around – preferably with a pet name in a foreign language.

Meeting of hearts and bodies

A major part of romance novels is, of course, sex! Much of the courting and sex in romance novels is the woman’s ideal of the ultimate lover and the sexual encounter. And this mostly involves a man who takes his time and is equal parts strong and sensitive. This should tell you that when seducing a woman, never to rush matters. While your interactions must have a strong undercurrent of sexual tension, you also need establish sex with love as the central principle in your relationship. A mere one-night stand or a bar hook up is hardly something that a heroine in a romance would agree to and you need to keep this is mind when seducing a woman. Let your feelings be tuned to each other, and even if you falling in love is too much of an effort, at least make an emotional connection with your partner, without which seducing a woman in the romantic sense is well nigh impossible.

Finally play to her fantasies

All women like to dream about marvelous men and herein lies the secret of the overwhelming success of romantic fiction. Like the dark, brooding hero of these novels, cultivate a bit of mystery so that you pique a woman’s interest and keep her coming for more. One of the main purposes of romance novels is the play of fantasy. This may sound paradoxical, given that there is a set formula to these stories. But they are indeed vehicles for the imagination; each one a love rollercoaster, so to speak, to tempt the fantasies of its female readers. As they follow their heroine through the torturous twists and turns of her love life, these women idealize about what would a really wonderful man be like, how would he make love, and perhaps, what would the most exciting possible moment in a love affair be like. If you are looking to master the art of seduction of women, you need to fine tune your sense of appeal. Try to find out what your woman’s fantasies are and try to play to them. Every woman differs on the specifics of the kind of man who would turn her on but mostly she is looking to be thrilled and satisfied in equal measure. Treat her like a lady but also make her feel your passion – much in the manner of the typical romance fiction hero who is at once a creation of female fantasy but thoroughly grounded in an overwhelming physicality.