How to Make New Friends in Germany

The German people are known all over the world for order, professionalism and strive for perfection. The stereotype of German national often presents them as unnaturally strict, militaristic and rather unimaginative. In reality though, Germans have many appealing qualities which make them wonderful people to know which is why here are a few tips on making new friends in Germany.

Reserved in nature

Germans do not believe in open display of their emotions. Thus if you try to chat up strangers, you might be met with a polite silence or even a distant formality. Fact is, they are simply not used to letting their guard down with strangers and do not find it easy to become friendly in a short span of time. As far as their body language is concerned, German men are quite protective about their personal space and would take it amiss if you try to greet them with a hug or kiss, especially when they don’t know you well enough. Indeed their formal stance is a way of being polite and showing you respect. Again if you are trying to show interest in German women, it is better to use the subtle approach since German girls are rather wary of aggressive flirting. In any case remember not to come on too strong when you are making their acquaintance. They may look at you with furrowed brow and some apprehension. Once out of their comfort zone, German women can be quite formidable. They'll turn away or let your sentences drop -- and with them your self-esteem -- into a heavy silence. Well intentioned smiles may even be rebuffed by a stare implicitly accusing you of breaching the limits of civil behavior.

Learn to speak the language

One of the ways though which can help you break the ice with a German is by conversing in their language. While English is quite prevalent in Germany, if you are keen on making friends, leaning German would definitely give you the edge in your socializing efforts. Enroll in a German language class in your area. You can also pick up a language tutorial in CD or book form. Once you become better acclimated with the language, you can communicate in a more personable manner and make friends more easily.

In Germany, it is customary to address people by their title plus their surname, like “Herr Braun” or "Frau Hubner". In informal situations people may use first names but they always use titles in business or professional meetings. If someone has a  professional title, it is polite to use it like “Herr Doktor” or “Frau Professor”. Also it is usual to address people you have just met as “Sie” though as a relationship develops, this might give way to the more familiar du form. When you meet people or take leave of them, shake hands and greet them with the words Guten Morgen, Guten Tag or Guten Abend according to the time of the day. in Bavaria, ‘Gruss Gott’ which stands for May God greet you can be used at any time of the day as a greeting. at the end of a meeting, it is polite to wish your friends and acquaintances, Auf Wiedersehen. while the younger generation in Germany may seem increasingly casual among themselves, they are careful to observe the customary practices in greeting and addressing when interacting with their elders.

Where to meet people

While you are in Germany, partake in as many social activities as possible. This includes bars, nightclubs, the theater, restaurants and musical venues. yet another good way of meeting people is to join a club of which there are several kinds, from sports and outdoors to arts and languages. the larger cities have a number of international clubs and classes catering to both Germans and foreigners which offer ample socializing opportunities. at such recreational or educational venues, make an effort to say hello and open a conversation and for the purpose dig into your knowledge of German. though they may seem distant in the beginning, strike up an enjoyable conversation and they may warm up.  

Topics of discussion

In keeping with their no-nonsense natures, Germans like to have serious discussions and in fact can even become quite intense when discussing politics, social issues and philosophy. They do not like to flit from one subject to another which they take a sign of flippancy and superficiality rather than social charm and wide-ranging wit. Also avoid the topic of work when making friends here since Germans prefer to keep the public and private spheres of life separate.

However when in the mood for partying, Germans can be a jolly and fun-loving people. Their capacity for downing beers and merrymaking is legendary even though when hosting an event, they prefer not to call people over at home and instead entertain at a café or a restaurant. So if a German friend invites you to his/her house, consider it an honor and behave accordingly. If you want to make a good impression on your German pal, you better turn up in time for the event. Germans on the whole are sticklers for punctuality; being on time is intrinsic to the national psyche – this is not only evident from the fact that people turn up for their appointments a few minutes early but also from the way trains and flights are almost always on time in Germany. In fact a person who is late for an appointment is considered untrustworthy and being late in certain situations may even be seen as an insult to the person you are meeting.

Once at your German host’s house, present him/her with a small gift  of chocolates or flowers but not chrysanthemum or lilies which are for a funeral nor roses which are for lovers. Also keep in mind the German preference for the separation of personal and public sphere and don’t expect to be taken on a tour of inspection of the whole house. You can of course ask for the washroom but everything else is private so avoid venturing off on your own.