Single parent dating - Tips to success

There are many cases of singles - divorced, widowed or never been married, never had kids, who are taken with the idea of a tailor-made family. And consider yourself really fortunate if you find someone who yearned for kids but didn't have any because their partner wasn't agreeable. Or even someone who just loves kids, it doesn't matter whose they are. So don't limit your options.

When you do start dating, go out with several different people before narrowing down the field. This not only gives you the chance for some uncomplicated fun but also doesn't leave the kids feeling too threatened that you're getting serious with someone so soon.

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While it may take serious prioritizing and planning, and even leave you feeling like Super(wo)man, never forfeit special occasions, or certain activities you always do together with your kids, for a date. They will surely come to resent this intrusion into their lives and any man, no matter how wonderful, as an unwelcome byproduct of it.

Make sure you continue to spend quality time with them, give them the attention that children always yearn for, and do things together. If your kids are still small, try and ensure that you tuck them into bed before you go on a date. Don't rob them of the small pleasures and nighttime rituals they are accustomed to.

As far as possible, avoid bringing dates home until you are fairly sure you are developing an emotional bond or you see the potential for a serious relationship. Why would you want to expose your children to different men/women, only to tell them a month later that it was just a casual fling? It could give your kids the wrong idea about relationships.

When you do decide to bring your date home, try and be reasonably confident that he or she is someone you feel safe introducing your children to. Some things you might want to consider about your date before bringing him home to meet the kids:

• He should like kids or at least be inclined towards them.

• He might have already displayed an interest in your kids and asked pertinent questions about them.

• He seems easygoing and friendly, someone you think your kids will take to. After all, you, better than anybody, would know the kind of person your kids will like.

• He is not averse to the idea of meeting them and is, in fact, even eager. There are some men who find the idea of meeting their partner's kids a formidable task and might shy away from it. This is an indication that he is either truly scared of what they might think of him or just not sufficiently serious about the relationship to make the effort.

Prior to bringing a date over, do prepare your kids for it. However, don't overdo it, let it be a casual meeting. In fact, you might even like to go somewhere that's fun where it will take the pressure off the situation and avoid awkward silences.