Kissing Under the Mistletoe - a Christmas Tradition

Kissing under the mistletoe is one of the most romantic traditions associated with the winter holiday season. During this time, a bunch of mistletoe is strategically placed over the doorway of a house and if a man and woman find themselves standing underneath, they are expected to kiss. The tradition is said to bring romance and good luck to the couple but ultimately it may have more to do with the larger feelings of love and celebration associated with the holiday season.

Today, the tradition of kissing under mistletoe is inseparable from Christmas celebrations but interestingly enough, its origin can be traced to Pagan traditions and specifically to ancient Norse mythology. According to this myth, a goddess named Frigg gave birth to a son whom she called Baldr. At the child’s birth, Frigg blessed him with the power to be unaffected by all plants in the world but she forgot to include mistletoe. A God named Loki known for playing pranks on unsuspecting beings tricked a blind god named Hoder into killing Baldr with a spear made of mistletoe. Eventually the gods managed to save Baldr and Frigg claimed that from then on mistletoe would come to symbolize love and rejuvenation and not death. This led to the practice of people kissing under the mistletoe as way of obeying the goddess Frigg and remembering the wonder of Baldr’s resurrection.

Yet another pagan origin of the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe may have been an ancient Babylonian-Assyrinian custom. According to this bunches of mistletoe were hung outside the temple for the goddess of love and beauty. Single women apparently stood under the mistletoe and were supposed to accept the first man that approached them. It is unlikely however, that they would have kissed since kissing was not yet part of those cultures. But the association of love and marriage with mistletoe remains and this is what probably evolved into the tradition of kissing under mistletoe in modern Western cultures.

The special place of mistletoe in legend and folklore may have something to do with the fact that it was considered to possess magical and healing properties in ancient Europe. This may owe something to the unique nature of the plant which can grow either as a parasite on other plants or on its own. Due to this dichotomous nature, the early Greeks considered the mistletoe to have mystical powers and over the years, it came to be associated to much folklore. The mistletoe of the oak was especially sacred to the ancient Celtic Druids and the separation of mistletoe from the oak came to symbolize the emasculation of the Old King by his successor. In this tradition, the mistletoe of the oak tree was considered a sexual symbol as well as the “soul’ of the oak tree. The supposedly protective qualities of mistletoe led to the practice of hanging its branches in the house as a way of warding off evil spirits and witches which eventually found its way to the custom of decorating houses with braches of mistletoe at Christmas.

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The romantic connotation of the tradition of kissing under mistletoe may owe to the association of the plant with fertility rites since ancient times. The leaves of mistletoe were supposed to have aphrodisiacal properties and the plant as a whole was thought to have medicinal powers. In fact mistletoe figured prominently in the Greek fertility festival of Saturnalia due to the belief that the plant had the ability to bestow fertility to new couples. This may have been the reason why the plant found a prominent place in marriage ceremonies in old Europe and was placed under the bed of newlywed couples on their wedding night. Yet another interesting anecdote associated with the tradition is that while young men would kiss their girls under the mistletoe, they would keep plucking a berry after each kiss. However it was bad luck to go on kissing after all the berries of that bush was gone. Here it is pertinent to remember that in the old days, kissing was a more serious thing than it is today and was then generally taken as a sign of betrothal. In Scandinavia, mistletoe was regarded as a symbol of peace under which hostile armies could declare a truce or warring couples could kiss and make up. This tradition may have emerged from the Old Norse legend of Frigg and Baldr, mentioned earlier.

The interwoven connotations of fertility, magic and celebration with mistletoe probably led to a popular Christmas custom in eighteenth century England according to which a girl standing under a decorated ball of mistletoe could not refuse to be kissed. Though kiss could actually mean anything from romantic love to lasting friendship or plain goodwill during the season of celebrations, it was popularly seen as a sign that the boy and girl kissing would marry within a year. In some parts of England in fact, the mistletoe was burnt on the Twelfth Night lest all the boys and girls who had kissed beneath never marry. In France however, the tradition of kissing under the mistletoe is reserved for the New Year and is known as “Au gui l’An neuf” or Mistletoe for the New Year.

Today, kissing under the mistletoe has spread from Europe to the American continent and in several other parts of the world as well. The tradition may have outgrown its Pagan origins and become more explicitly associated with Christmas, but the connotations of mistletoe as a harbinger of love and protection from evil remain. This is exactly why the ball of mistletoe trimmed with ribbons, evergreens and ornaments figure as an integral part of Christmas decorations and why couples kissing beneath it symbolize an everlasting love for each other. In fact when a boy and girl kiss under the mistletoe, it is predicted that they will marry each other before next Christmas and are wished good luck and happiness by others. So whether or not you choose to believe the tradition, kissing under mistletoe makes for great fun over the holiday season and remains one of the most endearing customs of the Christmas celebrations.