Why Marrying a Divorced Man May Increase the Odds of Success

With divorce rates rising steadily, dating after a broken marriage – or two – is no longer a taboo. And yet some concerns remained like emotional baggage of prior relationship, attachment to children from earlier marriage as well as financial expenses like alimony and child support. Now however with more women being financially successful themselves, marrying a divorced man seems to present certain advantages or over marrying bachelors. Indeed the rising trend is even seen in the emergence of a new band of women who have earned the moniker pumas because they hunt down Previously Married and Attractive men1. So if you have been dating a divorced guy for some time now and he has proposed, it may make sense to accept for a greater chance of marital success.

They are more considerate

Many single women who regularly date older, married men believe that being in a long-term relationship makes a difference in the attitude of men to their relationships. Such men are apparently more considerate about their lover’s needs and wishes and treat her like a lady.  So while a toyboy date may be busy catching his own reflection against the polished interiors of a dance club, a divorced guy will make the effort to notice your dress, hairdo and even offer an original compliment or two. And it is not only the superficials that a divorcee’s attention is likely to be restricted to. The joys of dating a man who has been there and done that chiefly lie on the fact that he is well aware of the practical things that please a woman most. So while a bachelor waiting for you  to show up on a date may be whiling away his time by playing games on his i-pad, a divorced guy would have already made reservations at the restaurant and what’s more, got a pre-paid parking ticket for your car.

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They are more mature

The more experiences a person has of long term relationships, the more likely he is to be emotionally mature when it comes to supporting a partner. This is a huge advantage as compared to younger guys who are forever getting jealous of your mingling with other men or expecting their fragile egos to be massaged every now and then. A divorced and more mature man is less likely to be affected by petty concerns and ego-hassles. His long experience would have given him a wider perspective on the really important things in life, an essential factor in any successful relationship.

They are more domesticated

One of the biggest plus points of marrying a divorced man is that he already knows his way round the house, especially the kitchen. Since he has been living on his own for a while, he is not looking for a housekeeper to do his laundry or a butler to bring breakfast in bed. Indeed he can even be expected to cook dinner on days that you are overburdened at the workplace or whip you up a steaming bowl of chicken broth in case you are coming down with the sniffles.

Be wary of men though who seem too eager to remarry when only a short period has elapsed after the divorce or who have a mother or aunt living with them to help out – this implies that the guy is in a hurry to get a replacement for his wife, who most likely was burdened with domestic duties and probably why she left.

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They are more stable financially

Professionally as well as emotionally, an older divorced man is more likely to have achieved stability as compared to a younger guy who is still experimenting with careers and relationships. Though a divorced man may have additional financial commitments like child support or alimony, at his stage of life he is most likely to be earning enough to support a new family as well. Also a man who is comfortably settled in his profession will be at your disposal more often than a young guy who is still struggling to establish his credentials and prove himself professionally. In fact many first-time divorces are brought about by financial stress on a marriage when partners are not able to balance resources and expenses or agree upon financial priorities. The second time round, though a guy is likely to be clearer about his financial and life goals and looking for a partner who will fit these.

They are more responsible

More importantly, a long and successful career implies that a guy is capable of fulfilling his professional responsibilities. So you can expect him to be similarly sensitive to the needs and obligations in a personal relationship as well. This is a far cry from your younger ex who couldn’t be trusted to put the mortgage in the back nor to remember picking up your son from his piano lessons. In fact if you are eager to have children, you might find a divorced man willing to start a family as compared to younger partners who would hem and haw and complain that they just don’t feel ready for such immense responsibilities. Also any previous experience in child rearing is nothing to be frowned at, since having a partner who knows how to change a diaper or doesn’t mind regurgitated infant food on him is a godsend as compared to guys who have never handled babies before.

They are more sexually knowledgeable

Being married also guarantees greater sexual experience and more patience when it comes to dealing with other women. Young unmarried men are often too sure of their desirability and often behave like cads which may put off single women looking to be treated well by their partners. On the contrary divorced men with many years in relationships could be more sexually knowledgeable than younger guys and more importantly, eager to give please their wives unlike the young fellas who are too interested in their own satisfaction to notice what their partners are feeling.

Finally the best part about choosing to marry a divorced guy is that he is less likely to stray as compared with younger guys who are still to make up their minds about what they want in a partner. A divorced man who has loved, lived and lost knows the value of security and loyalty in a relationship. At this stage of life he wants a companion and a soul mate and is unlikely to be interested in horsing around the town or looking to pick up women in bars and nightclubs.

References:

  1. Mail Online - Why divorced men are suddenly such a catch