If you Made a Late-Night-Drunk Call to your Ex - Damage Control Tips and Advice

Breakups are always hard to go through, whether you were together for just a few weeks or a few years. People differ on how long it takes them to get over an ex but almost always the process involves pain, hurt and anger. Sometimes all these feelings stand in danger of erupting forth, especially when you are not in your senses like when in a drunken stupor. Late night drunk dialing is one of the most common scenarios that people going through a breakup find themselves in and unfortunately it is also one of the most embarrassing. However if you have succumbed to this urge, here are a few damage control tips that can help.

TIP: Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.

Apologize

This is really the only thing you can do if you got sloshed last night and poured out all you had over the phone. Apologize to your ex for your pathetic behavior and assure him/her that it won’t happen again. But it is much better to convey your apology as an email or a voicemail instead of calling him/her again – apart from the fact that speaking directly will be acutely embarrassing because of what happened last night, your ex may not even want to take your call suspecting that you will again start on your whining. Also don’t make the apology an excuse to meet or speak to your ex. Get hold of the fact that it is over between you two and if you are looking to hook up with him/her, drunk dialing and its aftermath will definitely not help your cause.

Take immediate steps

Once you have apologized to your ex, make sure that you don’t give in to the temptation of drunk dialing your ex again. If possible, delete his/her phone number from your list of contacts or at the very least, remove it from your cell phone’s speed dialing. Alternately you can delete your ex’s number from your contact list after having written it down and stashing it away at a safe place where you cannot get hold of it in a drunken stupor. Another good idea is to give your phone to a trusted friend before you go out for the night, someone who won't give in to your pleas of desperation when you are clearly not in your senses. This way your phone is close by if you need to make a legitimate call, but it will be for your friend to decide that. Let him/her keep the phone until the next morning if required.

Control your drinking

If you have drunk dialed your ex or anybody else more than once, perhaps you need to consider whether you are using alcohol to deal with your problems. While drinking may offer only a momentary period of forgetfulness, it will never make your problems go away. On the contrary it will leave with a terrible hangover at best and a lifelong, potentially fatal addiction at worst. The next time you go out to a bar or nightclub limit your alcohol intake to just a couple of glasses. If you feel you cannot control manage your drinking on your own, seek professional help or join AA in order to stop it from wrecking your life forever.

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Take steps to get over your ex

If this was only a one-off incident, there is no need to beat yourself about it once you have taken immediate steps. However if drunk-dialing an ex is something that you often do, you need to take steps to get over your ex, but in a healthier way. Consider going for a significant life-change like relocating or taking up a different job which will place you in new surroundings and thus help you to move on. If such major steps are not possible, usher in minor changes like picking up a new hobby or joining a short course which will not only keep your mind off your ex but also encourage you to be interested in other things and new people. If nothing at all seems to help, consider going to a counselor or therapist in order to cope with the breakup and get over the pain. In the process you will also know whether the instances of drunk-dialing are only means of seeking closure or if you are genuinely interested in getting back with your ex. If it is the latter, your therapist will be able to guide you on the correct course to take but keep in mind that it could mean a long and sometimes difficult path.

Drunk dialing an ex is one of the worst things you can do – whether you are seeking answers on the breakup or whether you want to give your relationship another chance. It shows loss of control, both physical and emotional, and is the easiest way to appear pathetic as well as desperate. So ensure that you don’t get drunk and call up your ex again and if it is a recurrent problem, do take steps before the habit completely ruins your reputation and self-worth.