How to Get Your Cancer Man Back

Cancer men are brooding, protective, and sarcastic; basically the classic male love interest in almost any romance novel. They are sensitive souls who care deeply about their partners, but they can also be quite touchy and easily-offended. Underneath the hard shell that they wear, they can actually be very vulnerable and insecure. If you've had a falling out with your Cancer man, and you're hoping to convince him to give your love a second try, you will have to understand where he is coming from, in order to rebuild trust and allow him to feel safe with you.

Read the guide to prevent a break up or get back with your ex.

Learn to speak his love language

Cancer men show their affection in an almost maternal way. They tend to hover over their lovers, criticizing and picking at them, much like a fussy mother hen. He may tell you to put on a warmer coat, and then cover his true nurturing instincts by saying something like, “I don't want to hear you complain about being cold all night.” He will always want to make sure that you are happy, healthy, and well-cared for, but he may voice his concerns in way that could be interpreted as snippy or sarcastic. If you don't understand what your Cancer man is really trying to say, it can lead to misunderstandings and hurt feelings. See his smothering nature for what it is. He loves you and nit-picking and grumbling are the ways that he shows his love. He is unhappy when he sees you in need. He is vexed when he sees all of your potential and talents not being applied in the best ways. He wants you to be as happy and successful as possible, and he won't be shy about telling you exactly how he thinks you should make those things happen.

Remind him of the good times

It may be tough to believe, what with his tendency to keep his feelings to himself, but the Cancer man is very sentimental. He's the type to smile serenely upon hearing a song that brings up watercolor memories of the past. He'll be the type of husband that will want to bring you to the same restaurant every year for your anniversary, especially if that's the spot where you met or had your first date. If you want to get back in your Cancer man's good graces, start by bringing up some the good memories that the two of you share. Appeal to that nostalgic nature of his, and you're sure to get him viewing you in a positive light once more.

Don't rush him

The Cancer man truly is a crab. He has a hard outside, but is sweet and genuinely loving inside. You have to remember that his hard shell is for his protection. He is easily offended, over-emotional, and reticent. The Cancer man isn't quick to trust in the first place, but if the two of you have a history, he is going to be even more reserved. He may feel that the trust of your relationship has been fractured, and it will take time for this trust to be rebuilt. Don't rush him, or try to force him out of shell. This will only scare him away. With such a tender soul, the Cancer man feels the need to protect his heart. You have to be willing to move slowly, and let him come to trust you on his time-line and on his terms.

Never criticize or cause problems with his family or friends

The Cancer man cares deeply about family, both blood relatives and the friends that he has known for so long that they've become a sort of second family. Most relationships become shaky when the woman causes conflict in her man's family or social circle, but this behavior will be especially hurtful to the Cancer man, because he cares so much about family. Matters of the home are of utmost importance to him. The sign of Cancer is in the astrological house of security. If you mess with Cancer's family, you're messing with his security. Cancer is very loyal and clannish. If you're against his family, then you're also against him. Fighting with his best friend or making passive-aggressive comments about his mother will cause the Cancer man to view you as a threat, and you'll never be able to get past his hard exoskeleton to experience the warm and giving heart inside. But take the time to get to know his family and honor the other relationships in his life, and you will became one of those people that Cancer is so fiercely protective of.

Make sure that you both want the same things for your future

The Cancer man is likely to be very traditional and family-oriented. He will want to give you a loving home, filled with creature comforts and security. He has a real nesting instinct. He is also going to want to share that home with children. The Cancer man will likely want a large family, and he isn't the type to want to wait until you've both established yourselves in your careers. If you're a more modern gal, wanting to wait until later in life to have children, then this could be a source of conflict between the two of you. A woman who wants to start a family sooner, rather than later, is going to make the best possible match for the Cancer man.

Try reconnecting by the water

True to the nature of the crab, the Cancer man loves the sea. If you can, plan a date on the beach. If there is no ocean nearby, a bay, pond, or lake will do nicely as well. Cancer is a water sign, and it may be because of this that the Cancer man is intuitively drawn to the water. You could plan a romantic picnic for the two of you to enjoy, as you gingerly begin the process of reconstructing your fractured relationship.

Don't jump right in to the tough issues

The Cancer man hates conflict, so jumping right in to discussions of the issues you two have had are likely to put him on the defense. Cancer feels emotions profoundly, but isn't one to talk about his feelings. He relies on instinct and empathy. He would rather work his way through his emotions and be receptive to yours, in an indirect way. That's not to say that you shouldn't ever bring up the tough issues directly, but try to stay clear of them until your Cancer man starts to feel comfortable with you once more. When he feels attacked, the Cancer man has the tendency to be somewhat manipulative. He may try to deflect blame to you or throw shrewd comments your way. He only acts this way because he feels threatened. It is defensive, not offensive. Give him space, time, and patience. When he does open up to you, you'll be gifted with one of the most kind, tenacious, and comforting hearts in the entire zodiac.