Dating for African American Single Mothers

Dating for a single mother can be difficult at the best of times. However if you happen to be an African American, you have to overcome certain challenges unique to the community. While your best bet in having a satisfying personal life lies in being financially independent, here are a few ways in which you can rev up your love life and find dating partners.

Statistics provided by the 2006 United States Census Bureau reveals that African Americans make up the largest minority group in the country. In 2007 there were 38.8 million African Americans in the US, making up 13% of the total population of the country1. The states with the largest number of African Americans were New York (3.3 million), Florida (2.9 million), Texas (2.8 million), Georgia (2.8 million), and California (2.4 million) while those with more than a million of their population were Alabama, Illinois, Louisiana, Maryland, Michigan, Mississippi, New Jersey, North Carolina, Ohio, Pennsylvania, South Carolina, Tennessee, and Virginia 2. This shows that the majority of African American population, around 50 percent, continues to live in the South.

Some figures released by the Census Bureau throw up disconcerting facts about the African American population in the US. In 2006, 18.5% of African Americans aged 25 years and older earned a bachelor’s degree or higher, compared with 31% of non-Hispanic whites in the US 3. The median personal income earned by an African American male was $22,740 which was lower than the overall median personal income for all individuals over the age of 18 at $25,149 4. Moreover the African-American  community was more likely to get in trouble with the law. In 2001 as much as 44% of the prison population in US was comprised of African Americans, according to numbers provided by the Department of Justice. All these facts point towards the challenges faced by the African American community as a whole and by its women in particular.

Historically, African American women have got the worst of both racial and sexual discrimination. Growing up in dysfunctional families meant that they were less educated, professionally qualified or financially secure than their male or White counterparts. The lack of economic and psychological security at home was often responsible for pushing young African American women into a self-perpetuating cycle of low resources, abusive relationships, teen pregnancies and further loss of control over their lives. However with increasing levels of education, health resources and financial independence, African American women are fast gaining lost ground. Single mothers are not only better able to care for their kids than before but many of them have fulfilling personal lives as well.

The key to successful dating as an African American single mother is to network well. Look for opportunities that bring you in touch with neighbors, community members and social groups in your locality. Neighborhood yard sales, music concerts, fetes and hobby classes organized by your local community are all occasions for families and residents to come together and thus ideal ways to explore single men around you. The advantage in starting from the local is that you will easily be able to gather background info on potential dates and less likely to be duped by an unsuitable marital or financial status.

Yet another useful resource in finding dates is your local church.  Till recently most African American singles met through their local church which offered a safer and more reliable way of bringing people together than the bar or nightclub. While the arrival of the Internet has revolutionized dating trends, social events organized by the church remains popular with singles who place greater premium on face to face interaction and spiritual identity in relationships.

As a single mother, it is unlikely that you will have much time to hang out in pubs and nightclubs waiting for a potential date. The quickest way would be to rope in close friends and family members as part of your efforts to find a dating partner. Most of them would only be too happy to spread the word around and may even surprise you with a name or two. Another advantage of finding dates through friends is that you have reliable information on the person and can meet for the first time at a neutral place without the awkwardness of going out formally.

Your workplace can also offer you valuable opportunities in dating. This is not to say you should hit on your immediate colleague or boss, but you could check out guys in other departments or branch offices. So even if talking shop or the insipid appetizers are a big turn-off ,make it a point to attend office parties, workshops, luncheons and the like. Alternatively you can ask a co-worker if you can accompany him/her to a few social occasions he/she is invited to. This way your social and professional circle will get larger and who knows, you may come across someone interesting.

Your kid’s school may not seem such a promising place to meet potential dates. But with a climbing divorce rate in the United States, there are bound to be other single parent families among your kid’s friends. So now you have another reason to attend Parent-teacher meetings, sports and concerts at the school other than the big grin on your kid’s face.

The internet is a godsend for busy single parents looking to speed up their love lives. There are several dating sites devoted to African American singles. Many of these allow you to choose a partner by professional, educational, religious and physical parameters. At the same time, it is a good idea to explore inter-racial relationships as well. Most mainstream dating websites also have the option to search by ethnicity and nationality.

Today more than ever African American women are gaining control over their professional, social and personal lives. So even you are a single woman and a mom to boot, there is a lot you can do to find a suitable dating partner and have a satisfying personal life.