Girls with Daddy Issues and Dating

If a man fears anything more than dating a girl who will drag him to the shopping mall, it is perhaps one with major daddy issues. While no one can tell the future of a relationship from the early days of dating, in most cases going out with a girl who has daddy issues can make for an unpredictable and unstable relationship, a virtual emotional roller-coaster. Here is a bit more on girls with daddy issues and what you can look forward to when dating them.

Girls with Daddy Issues

Mental health and relationship experts are far from unanimous on what the term daddy issues refers too. Some believe that it is a popular derivative of a psychological concept developed by Carl Jung - the Electra complex – which denotes a woman’s sexual attachment to her father and a corresponding competitive hostility toward her mother. In popular culture though, daddy issues, refers to a whole complex of abandonment issues that a woman develops upon being rejected or even ignored by her father in childhood. People commonly say a woman has daddy issues when she appears to be seeking attention from men in order to compensate for the attention she may not have received from her father when she was growing up. As adults such women often turn out to be insecure, hungry for attention and even sexually promiscuous. However some point out that the term daddy issues has no psychological validity whatsoever and is just a label that popular culture has fixed on women who display such behaviour. Be what it may, there is no denying that the presence and love of a father in childhood is essential to developing a healthy perspective on relationships and those – whether women or men – who are denied this inevitably get burdened with emotional or sometimes even psychological baggage.

Aggressive flirting

One of the first things that could put you wise to your date’s daddy issues is a tendency to flirt aggressively. Because they have been ignored or neglected by their fathers in childhood, such women grow up with a perpetual hunger for male attention. They find themselves driven by a need to attract men and the easiest way to do this would be by inciting male sexual interest. Thus girls with daddy issues are known to hit on men quite strongly and often engage in rather heavy flirtation. However it may not be a good idea to label your date a girl with daddy issues based on this trait alone – lots of other women, even those with perfectly healthy childhood, enjoy flirting with men and indeed it may even be a sign of many confident, outgoing female personalities. On the other hand there are many other psychological conditions like narcissism and nymphomania where heavy flirtation may be a pathological attribute.

Sexual aggressiveness

Yet another trait sometimes associated with women having daddy issues is sexual aggressiveness. This is actually a desperate attempt to fill the emotional vacuum that a father’s absence may have left in their lives with sexual encounters – based on the hope that sexual intimacy will substitute for emotional support that they have missed on. If the woman you are dating has daddy issues, chances are she will send sexual signs that are impossible to mistake. If you’re up for a one-night stand, then by all means, enjoy the ride. But if you are genuinely interested in this girl, it is better that you take things slow. If her come-hither signals are overly aggressive, let her know that while you find her attractive you would like to get to know her better first. Make plans for a future date instead of looking for the nearest motel. Treat her with love and respect and she won’t feel the need to hold on to a man the only way she knows – by hooking up.

A streak of exhibitionism

Even if your date is not grinding you up against the wall, a girl with daddy issues may have a tendency to exhibitionism. This is an extreme form of the desire of male attention which can be traced back to her being abandoned by her father in childhood. If you are uncomfortable with her exhibitionist gestures but would like to know her better you can suggest that she tone down things a notch. At the same time pay her small and frequent compliments which are genuine in nature so that she does not feel the need to use other less-worthy means of getting validation from you. However keep in mind that such traits are deeply-set and it may be a long time before you and your date can think alike. So if you are a traditional sort of guy or a private person, think twice before continuing to date her knowing that her exhibitionism could prove embarrassing some time or other.

Insecure at heart

Strangely enough, the tendency towards heavy flirtation and exhibition that often marks girls with daddy issues co-exists with a deep insecurity at heart. Having been abandoned by her father in childhood or suffered from his neglect, she does not find herself worthy of being loved by any other man – after all if her own daddy could not love her, why should any other guy. Goaded by this sense of low-worth, such a girl would be highly insecure in a relationship, always fearing abandonment, getting jealous where they may be no cause of suspicion and coming off as extremely possessive. Indeed one of the major signs of a girl with daddy issues is clinginess. While every woman wants care and assurance from her partner, a girl with daddy issues wants those things in excess. She may throw a fit whenever you make plans without her. She might beg and bargain whenever you try to leave her apartment. The only way you can cope with these unreasonable demands is by maintaining specific boundaries. Have your own separate social life and make it clear that you have a job as well. Once you give in to her neediness, there would be no end to it.

Sometimes she may even be goaded to break up a happy relationship on the twisted logic that she better dump a partner before she gets dumped – as she believes she inevitably will. This entire complex of negative emotions could prove too complicated for a guy to handle so proceed ahead to a relationship with this woman only if you love her deeply and are willing to put in a lot of effort to make things word.

Despite your best intentions and genuine love for her, you may find the going tough with a girl who has daddy issues. Your best bet in having a healthy relationship lies in encouraging her to see a therapist. Sessions of therapy or counselling is the only way that the knot of pain and loss from abandonment by her father can be unravelled and she can become emotionally healthy for a meaningful relationship.