Tips for Dating a Plus Sized Girl

While the rapid increase in the average body size of men and women in developed countries has evoked health concerns and even led to revising many health and nutritional guidelines, fact remains that many women continue to be comfortable with their body size. If you feel the same about plus-size women and are looking forward to dating them, here are a few tips to keep in mind.

What to do on a date

While you may have no hang-ups about dating a plus-sized woman, be prepared for any practical issues that can come up. For instance when deciding on a venue, keep her body size and physical comfort in mind. Thus avoid making reservations at a restaurant where you know the chairs are small or taking her to an amusement park where she'll have to squeeze into a rollercoaster seat. Like keep off fashionable venues like trendy nightclubs so as not to make her feel embarrassed about her figure. If your date is self-conscious, she won't have fun. Instead take her to places where there will be people of all shapes and sizes; for example, go to the mall or an outdoor festival. Again don't plan anything active on your first date, such as hiking, unless she suggests it on her own; she may be embarrassed by being out of shape or unable to keep up with you or others if it is a team sport.

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Food and weight

When on a date with a plus-sized woman, refrain from pointing out what she is or isn't eating. This will bring the focus on her body size and she may feel awkward or worse unattractive. If you're together at a restaurant, avoid referring to her eating habits. Comments like, "Should you really be eating that?”, even if well meaning, will likely bring a sour end to your date. For the same reason take care not to plan a date around food or culinary experiences. All-you-can- eat buffets and chocolate-tasting classes may make satisfying date ideas for foodies, but if you are dating a plus-size woman, avoid these unless she suggests them herself. Likewise, be careful when you are choosing a gift for a large size woman. Boxes of fine chocolates, scrumptious cookies or gourmet cheese which may delight others may not go down well with your partner if she is trying to lose weight. Also it may be good idea to stuff up yourself before you leave for your date, since your partner may not be too keen to spend the greater part of your date at a restaurant where there are temptations galore.

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Be positive

If you know that your date is struggling to lose weight, try and be supportive. Popular notions of female beauty are so inextricably tied up with a slender figure that any physical trait that strays from the norm, even when brought about a medical condition, is enough to send women spiraling into depression. If you are serious about dating this girl, you have to make an effort to tell her that your find her beautiful. Ideally these would be in the nature of small compliments like ‘wow that scarf really brings out the color of your eyes’ or ‘you are looking fresh today’. However don’t go overboard with praises that are obviously untrue, comments about her weight and clothes even when complimentary could end up make her feeling worse. Rather focus on who she is - her personality, interests, hobbies and goals in life. Don't ask if she belongs to a gym or plans to join one. Keep the conversation light and positive and remember to tell her she looks lovely. Also every now and then validate her beauty type. When discussing movies, music and pop culture, make it a point to reference and compliment other strong, confident and charming women of size this will send a consistent message that you appreciate her beauty type in general and are not dating her out of pity or some kinky ideas about voluptuous female figure.

Learn to handle minor irritants

Plus-sized women not only have to content with unfair stereotypes about feminine beauty but a whole range of irritants in daily life. If you intend to see more of her, it may be a good idea to know how to handle embarrassments, like a too-small chair or a rude comment from a stranger; counter such challenges with aplomb and humor, instead of getting defensive or unduly aggressive which may in fact leave your date feeling embarrassed and robbed of self-worth. Also, because of her body size, your date may often seem unusually insecure about her looks and your relationship. So be sure to keep your attention on her throughout your date; don't ogle or flirt with other girls. As you move on to the second date and later, make regular physical contact to show your affection – like holding her hand, putting your arm around her or giving her a quick peck on the cheek. Show her that you find her attractive no matter what popular images show and that she can feel completely safe and comfortable with you. When choosing gifts, keep to ones that match your woman's style and general physical appearance. Demonstrate comfort with her size by buying lingerie and other apparel that is appropriate for her body. Avoid purchasing lingerie or apparel she would need to diet to wear or be made to feel self-conscious in front of you or others.

The Road ahead

If you intend to take your relationship with a plus sized girl further, ask yourself if you are ready to introduce her to your friends and family. If you are already thinking in terms of a relationship, but still have not invited her to meet your family, your girlfriend may begin to feel that you're "hiding" her because you are embarrassed about her body size. Once you introduce her to social and family circle, mention something nice about her in front of others so that she feels confident. If you believe some members in your family are less than tactful, you could even instruct them beforehand not to mention your girl's size or eating habits. When you are all together, keep the conversation general and involve your girl as much as possible so that she does not feel ignored.

Finally keep in mind that while superficial points of attraction like figure and beauty may serve to bring two people together, in most cases they aren’t enough to keep them together. For a lasting relationship, there is rarely any substitute for mutual love and respect. Likewise shared values in life, goals for the future and common interests will go a long way to build a lasting bond – no matter what shape and size your partner is.