Meeting your Girlfriend's Parents - Tips and Advice to Win them Over

Few prospects in a relationship are as much daunting as meeting your partner’s parents for the first time. And if it is a girl’s folks we are talking about, there is the added expectation of what an eligible boy is supposed to be like. At the same time however people are much more open and accepting than they were few decades ago. So push aside all those horror stories about the “monster-laws” and get ready with these tips to say hello to your girlfriend’s parents.

Don’t rush things

Wait for the right time to get introduced to your girl’s parents. First of all, get to know your partner well – this will not only create the required groundwork for the meeting but tell you a lot about her family, their values and lifestyle so that you don’t unwittingly raise Republican eyebrows by professing your passion for Democrat policies. Also the occasion is important. Some folks would like to meet you over a quiet, family dinner while others might prefer a larger and more relaxed occasion like an anniversary party to meet their daughter’s boyfriend. Trust your girlfriend on this and wait for the right opportunity.

Get some inside info

Once you know that a meeting is in the pipeline, start preparing yourself by doing some research on your girlfriend’s family. Get to know about their values, culture and the things they uphold in life. At the same time also ask your girlfriend about the composition of her family, whether her parents are divorced, separated or remarried, so that you do not commit a faux pas during the meeting. Also seek her advice on what you should avoid wearing or doing, smoking for instance, if you wish to make a good impression on her folks.

The venue is important

Deciding on the right venue for a meeting with your girlfriend’s parents would go a long way in making things easier for them as well as you. In the earlier days, it was the usual thing for a family to meet their daughter’s partner over dinner or a Sunday lunch but these days there are several more options which are gaining acceptance. For instance if you feel uncomfortable about meeting your girlfriend’s family on their home turf, you could suggest that everyone get together for dinner at a classy restaurant. Alternatively, Sunday picnic or a small get-together at your place would also be a great idea if you don’t mind the hassles of playing host. Also decide whether it would be better to accompany your girlfriend to her family home on occasion of a large celebration like an anniversary party or a Thanksgiving dinner or whether it would be better to arrange a one-to-one meeting between you and her parents. Whatever the occasion, don’t make it too formal which might lead to people getting uncomfortable with each other. At the same time avoid making things too casual since the small niceties of a formal introduction can actually ensure agreeable behavior on all sides.

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Be punctual

If you want to make a good impression on your girl’s folks, make sure that you arrive for the meeting on time. To be on the safer side don’t keep any important meetings or conferences on the day you are meeting your girlfriend’s family, even if it is after office hours. Also look up maps and road directions to the venue beforehand so that you don’t end up going around in circles while the clock is ticking away. Making others wait conveys lack of respect for them besides marking you out as irresponsible and careless. Even if you are stuck in traffic or running late for reasons not within your control, ring them up to apologize and let them know when you can be expected.

Dress appropriately

Gone are the days when families would expect their prospective son-in-law to turn wearing a tie and well-polished brogues. In these times men prefer to express in their personal style, the individual they actually are without putting up a front for others’ benefit. However it is still important to keep in mind the company you are about to have and dress accordingly. While you need not dress for a funeral, keep the torn jeans and shiny leather jackets for a night out with guys. Dress in order to highlight yourself as a good prospect – like putting on your Rolex – but at the same time avoid loading up on the accessories. Remember that you are here to make the impression of a responsible, financially stable person and not one who is into smuggling or drug peddling.

Bring a gift

Never ever turn up empty handed for a meeting with your girlfriend’s parents. You want them to know that you are not only financially sound but also possess social etiquette and good sense. However coming up with the right gift on this occasion is important – something too mundane may smack of parsimony while a hugely expensive gift may make them feel uncomfortable. Here your girlfriend would be the right person to come up with suggestions. A bottle of fine wine or good-quality chocolates usually never fail to impress but then again make sure what kind of chocolates her folks would prefer – dark, milky, with nuts or liqueur.

Be sensible while conversing

It is only natural that conversation on such a meeting would be a bit stiff to begin with. Think of ways you can break the ice with your girlfriend’s family – praising their garden or admiring their home décor should be both pleasing to their ears and neutral enough to make everyone feel comfortable. When asked about yourself, by all means mention where you have studied or are working now but refrain from going overboard with your accomplishments. Also it does not harm to indulge in a little flattery – your girlfriend’s mom would particular be pleased if you praise the lasagna. But here too ensure that you mean what you say and the nice words do not sound artificial. Yet another area to tread carefully is the family debate. Avoid discussing politics, religion and gender issues as far as possible since you don’t want to find yourself on the wrong side of whatever the family believes in. And if at all your opinion is sought by someone, try to come up with a neutral stance. Don’t forget to include all members of the family in the conversation – just because you found a college alumnus in your partner’s first cousin doesn’t mean that you ignore her siblings who have never been out of their hometown. And finally accept the fact that there might be some probing from your girlfriend’s parents into your background, education or profession. While the exercise might be far from enjoyable, even for your girlfriend, keep in mind that this is just her parents’ way of trying to determine if the person before them is good enough for their daughter.