How to Get your Friends to Respect your Relationship?

One of the trickiest situations faced by a person is when his/her romantic relationship is not accepted by friends. If not resolved quickly, the issue can soon become messy with misunderstandings and heartache all around. So if you feel that your friends do not like your partner, here is how to break the ice and get them to respect your relationship.

Be generous

Try to understand that your friends and you used to spend all your free time together before your partner came along. So it is natural that your pals should feel a little jealous of the attentions you are now getting from your partner, especially if the friends do not have partners of their own. So ensure that you spare some time in your schedule to hang out with your friends every now and then and this will reassure them that your partner is not a threat to your friendship. Suggest to your buddies that you have a guy’s night out or go shopping one Saturday afternoon with your girl friends. Once your friends see that your new relationships has not affected your equation with them, they are more likely to accept it.

Respect your partner yourself

Men due to centuries of patriarchy have been conditioned to look at women primarily as sex objects instead of equal partners who are worthy of respect. So it is not unusual that your buddies may ‘check out’ your girlfriend in an unpleasant manner and make disparaging remarks about her. At the same time it has become quite common in contemporary popular culture like sitcoms and commercials to show a guy in love as goofy and often the butt of jokes which often makes it is hard for a woman to respect her boyfriend in public. Add to this the fact that post feminism, it is not usual for single women to unconditionally respect all men - except perhaps for her father - and you have a context that increasingly thinks it is okay to treat boyfriends in an offhand manner. If you find yourself treating your own partner in a less than respectful way, it is only natural that your friends will pick up your cue and be dismissive of your partner as well. Thus one of the most effective ways you can get your friends to respect your relationship is to treat your partner with the consideration and civility he/she deserves, especially before your friends. This will not only send them the message that they need to start taking your relationship seriously but will be in fact good for your own relationship too. Respect is as much a requisite for a healthy relationship as love and trust which is why treating your partner so will only increase your chances of a successful relationship.

Don’t encourage excessive PDA in front of your friends

Don’t encourage your partner to be too romantic with you in front of your friends. They will end up getting uncomfortable and further wish that your partner wasn’t around. If your pals are already suspicious of your partner, this may convince them further that he/she is trying to come in between you and your friends. Keep displays of intimacy for your private moments and instead foster a comfortable casual environment to better help your friends respect your partner.

Don’t confide everything

While it is natural for a person to share emotions with people close to them, avoid making your friends party to every little detail of your relationship. You may feel that you need to vent your exasperation at your partner to a sympathetic ear but not all friends may be aware of other positive traits of your partner like you do and which in fact go to make up the person he/she is. In times of stress, it is natural for people to focus only on the negative attributes of a partner or highlight the tiffs you have in your relationship. If you do this all too often with your friends, they will get the impression that you are in a less than happy relationship and you deserve something better.

Create boundaries

If your sincerest efforts seem to unable to get your friends to respect your relationship, you may need to take firmer action. Create boundaries between your social and personal life so that the negative influence of one does not spoil the other. When your pals start discussing your partner, politely but firmly point out that such topics are off-limits. Focus on what you and your friends enjoy doing amongst yourselves and steer the conversation away from matters you are uncomfortable with.

Be honest with yourself

One of the most common signs that a person is a potentially unhealthy relationship is when his/her friends find something off with it. So ask yourself honestly whether your pals’ discomfort with your partner has any reasonable ground – is it possible that you are being manipulated, controlled or even abused by your partner? However in such cases, go only by the behavior of a close friend who you know has your genuine interest in his/her heart; you can identify such a friend by the fact that he/she has always been dependable and supportive in the past and is someone who you along with others consider fair-minded and balanced. Such a friend is also unlikely to base  his/her judgment of your relationship overnight and may be sending warning signals only after observing your relationship for a considerable span of time.

Finally be confident about yourself and your choices. Knowing who you are and what your relationship means to you should show off in your actions; you don’t need to convince your friends about how nice your partner is and how much he/she loves you. People inevitably respect individuals who believe in themselves versus those come off as defensive or worse wallow in self-pity. Once you radiate confidence in your own life, eventually your friends will be persuaded to treat your partner with consideration and your relationship with respect.