When your Friends Think your Relationship is Destined for Disaster

One of the trickiest situations faced by a person is when his/her romantic relationship is not accepted by friends. this could be due to a variety of reasons ranging from jealousy at your rocking love life to well-founded concerns about your compatibility. if your friends persist in dissuading you from this relationship leaving your emotional equanimity in tatters here are few ways you can deal with the situation.

Ask some tough questions

One of the most common signs that a person is in a potentially unhealthy relationship is when his/her friends find something off with it. So ask yourself honestly whether your pals’ negative prediction about your love life has any reasonable ground – does your friend know something about your partner that you don’t? is it possible that you are being manipulated, controlled or even abused by your partner? Sometimes you may be tempted to deliberately choose a date who is obviously incompatible with you. You may justify it as being on a rebound or hooking up with “Mr. Right Now”, or giving in to the pleasure of the random. Consider that your friends may disapprove of your partner because they know you and what you want deep down in heart instead of what you may be showing to the world. They may see, no matter how much fun you may be having, that your relationship is going to go nowhere. They may also see, no matter how much you might deny it, that time with your partner may do you more harm than good. So, if your friends express feelings of dislike towards your partner and are protective in their attitude, appreciate these feelings are usually rooted in affection for you— even if they may come out in a way you don’t want to hear.

However in such cases, go only by the behavior of a close friend who you know has your genuine interest in his/her heart; you can identify such a friend by the fact that he/she has always been dependable and supportive in the past and is someone who you along with others consider fair-minded and balanced. Such a friend is also unlikely to base his/her judgment of your relationship overnight and may be sending warning signals only after observing your relationship for a considerable span of time.

Don’t confide everything

While it is natural for a person to share emotions with people close to them, avoid making your friends party to every little detail of your relationship. You may feel that you need to vent your exasperation at your partner to a sympathetic ear but not all friends may be aware of other positive traits of your partner like you do and which in fact go to make up the person he/she is. In times of stress, it is natural for people to focus only on the negative attributes of a partner or highlight the tiffs you have in your relationship. If you do this all too often with your friends, they will get the impression that your partner is a jerk and your relationship is heading for a disaster.  

Be careful about your behavior

If you honestly think that your friends’ negative attitude to your relationship is coming from a place of jealous, start out by being a little more generous towards them. Try to understand that your friends and you used to spend all your free time together before your partner came along. So it is natural that your pals should feel a little jealous of the attentions you are now getting from your partner, especially if the friends do not have partners of their own. So ensure that you spare some time in your schedule to hang out with your friends every now and then and this will reassure them that your partner is not a threat to your friendship. Suggest to your buddies that you have a guy’s night out or go shopping one Saturday afternoon with your girl friends. Once your friends see that your new relationship has not affected your equation with them, they are more likely to realize that it is a good thing.

Likewise, don’t encourage your partner to be too romantic with you in front of your friends. They will end up getting uncomfortable and further wish that your partner wasn’t around. If your pals are already suspicious of your partner, this may convince them further that he/she is trying to come in between you and your friends. Keep displays of intimacy for your private moments and instead foster a comfortable casual environment to help your friends see that your relationship is based on maturity and mutual respect.

Create boundaries

If you are absolutely certain about your partner’s love and loyalty and believe that your friends are mistaken, then it may be time to put an end to their continued negative feedback on your relationship. One of the best ways to do this is by placing boundaries between your social and personal life so that the toxic influence of one does not harm the other. When your pals start discussing your partner, politely but firmly point out that such topics are off-limits. Focus on what you and your friends enjoy doing amongst yourselves and steer the conversation away from matters you are uncomfortable with.

Finally be confident about yourself and your choices. ; you don’t need to convince your friends about how nice your partner is and how much he/she loves you. The best proof of the success of your relationship would be a happy and self-assured you. When your pals see you glowing in the warmth of your relationship and emerging as a stronger, more confident person on the basis of the mutual trust and respect you share with your partner, they will naturally accept that they were mistaken and revise their position.