Why Some Russian Women Seem to Covet American Men

Russian women are famed for being some of the most attractive in the world – whether they are into sports like Anna Kournikova or from the fashion runway like Natalia Vadyonova . And yet many of them have a thing for American men, as evident from the roaring practice of Russian mail order brides in the US. Is the Russian woman’s preference for American men based on hard reality or is it yet another consumerist myth generated to drive a booming mail order bride business. And if indeed the trend is real, what lies behind Russian women’ partiality for guys from America.

Socio-economic factors

In the aftermath of the disintegration of USSR and relaxation of restrictions on overseas travel, many Russian women were eager to immigrate to the West in order escape the economic and social uncertainty of a country yet to find its feet post-liberalization. In the absence of professional skills, most of them chose to emigrate as mail-order brides for American or European men. The internet boom only added fuel to the fire with lots of sites facilitating a connection between young, attractive girls from Russia and potential suitors in America.

Differences in gender roles

Traditionally Russian society was patriarchal where women were supposed to keep home and raise kids. Indeed young women in Russia now are looking for men who will take on equal duties when it comes to child-rearing and looking after the house. But while women’s aspirations have changed, Russian men have been largely unable to keep pace. Many Russian men still hold on to traditional gender roles and are spoiled by their mothers. They expect their wives to work, cook, clean, do laundry, raise kids, and look stunning at the same time. Foreign men, especially those from America and west Europe, on the other hand don't take these things for granted. Thus have the reputation of being more fair-minded and respectful towards women than their Russian counterparts. This along with the promise of better living standards made up the main reasons why so many Russian women wanted to marry foreign men and emigrate.

Cultural pressures

Then again, for all their rising aspirations and stylish looks, at heart Russian women are quite traditional when it comes to relationships. Though women are better educated and professionals than ever, getting married and having kids still figure pretty high among their life goals. So when it comes to choosing a life partner, many Russian women prefer American men since the latter are expected to provide a more egalitarian marital relationship as compared to Russian men who can still be rather traditional in the matter of gender roles in a marriage.

Skewed demographics

At the root of the trend of Russian women wishing to get hitched to American men could lie cold and hard numbers. Demographic trends suggest that there are 10 million more women than men in the country1. Thus it is far from easy to find a husband in Russia, especially if one is older than 30. Russians tend to marry earlier than Americans, so if a woman has crossed thirty, it is quite likely that the majority of men in her age category are already taken. Then again if she is above thirty, divorced and with kids, her chances to making an eligible match are further precarious. In order to circumvent such hurdles, Russian women prefer to look for American men who are usually open to being step-fathers to kids from earlier relationships. Above all, the men are only too happy to have attractive women as their partners. What’s more being brought up according traditional values, many American men find that their Russian wives willingly perform housekeeping and child-rearing duties as compared to American or West European women.

Online scams

An unfortunate fall-out of this inter-continental attraction has been Russian dating and mail-order bride scams. These scams make use of men from North America and elsewhere in the world looking for female partners from Russia. The male clients first sign up with a dating or matchmaking agency which has a list of single Russian women willing to enter into partnerships with men from other countries. After the client chooses a potential partner according to her online profile, appearances or common interests, things may move on to mails, online chats and video conferencing. Around this time, the fake Russian girlfriend would bring up money issues, perhaps by expressing an interest in travelling to her partner’s country but claiming not to have the money for passport, tickets, visa etc. As soon as her partner sends her the money she may claim to have gone to the Embassy and found out that she needed yet more money for various expensive requirements like travel insurance or financial solvency rules . The plea for still more amounts of money would continue with excuses like presents for loved ones at home or for repayment of a student loan and so on till either the guy at the other end realizes he is being duped or more likely till he finds himself staring at an empty wallet.

In most cases, a person is the product of unique personality traits as well as cultural influences, besides other factors like genes, education and life experiences. Aspirations in love and life are thus most likely to emerge from this complex dynamic which is why examples like women of one culture preferring partners of another society cannot be taken as generalizations. And yet if the preferences are so common as to mark a distinct trend, there are usually very good reasons for it which again are a result of distinct cultural, economic and social forces of the time.