How to Make your Ex-Husband Miss you

While strategies for making the men in your life miss you may have a few things in common, a lot depends on the kind of relationship you shared before breaking up. This is to imply that it is relatively easier to get an ex-boyfriend to miss you as compared to an ex-husband. In the case of the latter, the legality of the breakup appears to bring on a certain finality which is not there with an ex-boyfriend and which as frightening as it is heart-rending. However the situation also has its own resources, so if you are thinking of ways to get your ex-husband to miss you, here are a few ways to go about it.

Control your emotions

The worst possible thing you can do to make your ex-husband miss you is to have an emotional showdown. Throwing a tantrum, crying a storm of tears and manipulating him on account of the kids will in fact make you appear needy while pushing him even further away. Fact is  men hate such scenes and can’t handle extreme displays of emotion. Instead if you come across him after the divorce, be calm and talk of other things as far as it is natural to do so. Straining to put up a pretence will again make him realize that you have not got over him and may make him wary of meeting you. Your calm demeanor may on the other hand impress him and men are attracted more to women with emotional maturity.

Get back with your ex with this step-by-step guide.

Get real

If you are to succeed in making your ex-husband miss you, it is crucial to come to grips with the situation yourself. Accept that there has been a breach in the relationship and your divorce is a consequence of that. You simply cannot go back to being the couple you were in the beginning and the divorce, no matter whose fault it was, will require you to start anew if you wish to attract your ex to yourself again.

Keep your distance

It is not possible to miss a person if you keep seeing him/her every other day and are speaking to him/her over the phone every evening. If you wish your ex-husband to really miss you, you need to be out of the radar for some time. If the break-up is fairly recent, say a week, make it a point not to have any contact with him for a month or so. at the end of it, he will begin to wonder what you are up to and willy-nilly start thinking of you more often. Around this time, your ex-husband may leave messages on your voice mail or crowd your inbox with mails asking to meet up; however you need to play hard-to-get for a while so that he really feels your absence in her life.

And yet for a divorced couple with kids, completing shutting down contact may not be possible because of visitation schedules. Your ex-husband may have joint custody and even if not, he may still have been granted visitation rights which means that he is going to turn up to meet or take out the kids. If so, let the encounters with your ex-husband  be quick and breezy. Avoid drawing out visitation periods by inviting him to stay back for coffee or a snack. Be brisk while picking up your kids from your husband’s place and avoid hanging around. If there are issues about the children that you may need to discuss with your ex, do it by email or when in person, be brief and matter-of-fact. The main thing is to get the message across to your ex that your presence cannot be taken for granted and that you have many more things to do. Before long he will start wondering what is keeping you so busy and will end up thinking about you more often than before.

Enhance yourself

If you can afford to stay out of touch or at least avoid face-to-face encounters for a while, use this opportunity to spruce yourself up. Over time as women begin to feel comfortable in relationship, they tend to relax the need to look perfect all the time. Men on the other hand are visual creatures and need to find external beauty to feel attracted. So if you have been neglecting your appearance towards the end of your marriage, it is time to take stock. Go for a glamorous makeover if you can afford it. Even small changes like a fresh hairstyle or a pair of sexy shoes can turn give you a new confident look. However you needn’t stop at a superficial changes; instead do something more meaningful to enhance your personality. Sign for a short course, learn a new language or take up an interesting hobby to widen your horizons. Meet new people and cultivate new interests – all these will add a different dimension to your personality which will not only strike your ex-husband the next time you meet but keep you in his thoughts till long after.

Reach out

After you have been out of his radar, it is time to get back into the groove; staying ‘out of sight’ for too long may not only be practical if you have kids but may get you ‘out of mind’ as well. Thus if you want to make your ex miss you, you need to find ways of letting him that now and then he still figures in your thoughts. For instance send him a short mail saying how you went back to this restaurant that used to be his favorite and remembered the great time that you both had there. However don’t go into detailed flashbacks but keep it casual and non-threatening. When you do meet again, try and go back to being the person he fell for in the first place. If your bright, outgoing nature had attracted him, make sure you are cheerful and positive when he is around. Correct any negative attitudes that may have crept within you and see that people are happy to be with you. Go out a lot and cultivate an active social life. Your ex-husband  too will pick up the positive energies emanating from you and start wanting to be with you more often.

Finally even as you go about making your ex-husband miss you, keep to the side of truth. If the divorce was a hasty decision and you still believe that he is the one for you, keep in mind that this is only the first step to a long, uneven road to reconciliation. If on the other hand you feel that he has treated you unfairly and you can get back at him by making him miss you and then rejecting him in turn, remember that the euphoria of vengeance will not only last for too short a while but will involve a high cost in terms of time and effort - resources that are precious in the wake of a divorce and that you can put to a better use by moving on.