10 Mistakes Not to Make When Dating a Younger Man
by kalyani10
Dating a younger man can be highly satisfying for various reasons, not the least being a sense of youthful adventure and freedom that such a partner can bring into the life of a mature woman. At the same time there are certain things you better avoid if you wish to have the best of a younger guy minus the complexities of age disparity. So here are the top ten mistakes not to make when dating a younger man.
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- Don’t assume the worst
Society has always maintained double standards in sexual mores. While it has long accepted older men dating younger women as virtually normal, the reverse is still treated with skepticism if not horror. Likewise older women fall prey to assumptions that dating a younger guy will never succeed, for one reason or other – the most common being that he will eventually go back to a younger woman or someone near his own age. Such assumptions not only keep older women from fully enjoying the attentions of a younger date but also make them anxious and negative, traits which are far from attractive in the dating world. So don’t go to meet trouble half-way and instead focus on the pleasures of dating a young man.
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- Don’t give way to insecurity
Very often insecurity over advancing years and waning looks may lead a woman to date someone several years younger. You may feel that you possibly cannot look your years if you can attract and even hold the attentions of such an attractive under-25 lover. But no matter how young and inexperienced a person might be, he will invariably pick up any hint of neediness on your part and that can prove disastrous. Your neediness may scare him away or worse tempt your partner to misuse your insecurity for material advantage.
- Don’t lose control
You might be deliriously happy at snagging a younger, groovy guy but make sure you remain in control of yourself. Even though you are having so much fun after a very long time, avoid getting drunk at parties or at a nightclub when with your date. Apart from the fact that it will make you look unattractive, it will also be extremely embarrassing since there is no dignity in being slumped on the chair snoring with your mouth open when you are over 40.
- Avoid whining about your past
As an older woman, it is only natural that you have had your share of relationships and not all of them pleasant too. But there is no need to whine and moan about cheating ex-boyfriends, greedy former husbands and alimony issues. When dating a younger guy, keep the focus on things that are mutually enjoyable or you will soon be seeing the last of your partner.
- Don’t ignore health issues
No matter how sexually inexperienced your young date may seem, always make it a point to practice safe sex. At his age, he may balk at using condoms but you should know better at how easy it is to pick up a sexually transmitted infection. After all your health is your responsibility and no guy in the world is worth getting yourself sick over.
- Don’t put him down constantly
Admittedly you have the advantage of several years of experience whether whipping up a chocolate pudding or filing income tax returns. However don’t let your greater experience turn into an excuse of putting down your date on more than one occasion, even if he has actually goofed up. Men – young or old – usually have a big-sized ego and cannot take being corrected by a woman for long. Keep in mind that the goal of cougar dating is to have fun with each other and not to bring up your younger date – leave that to his parents.
- Don’t mother him
At the other extreme is the tendency to mother a younger guy. Women are commonly nurturers. When dating a younger man, there will be a temptation to take care of him, more so than when the man is the same age or older. Resist doing this – no matter how good a time your guy gave you last night in bed, it still does not mean that you should do his laundry or pack his lunch for the next day. Mothering him will eventually bring about a shift in the dynamics of the relationship which is unlikely to be to your advantage.
- Stay away from the barter system
It is not uncommon for rich dowagers and bored heiresses to get a toy boy in exchange of monetary support, whether in cash or kind. However if you wish to have a satisfying cougar relationship, avoid supporting your younger man financially. Fights over money can create rifts in relationships which may be otherwise be mutually enjoyable.
- Don’t involve his mom
It is not a good idea to meet your date’s mom unless you have been in a serious relationship with him for some time and are genuinely considering marriage. She may be younger than you or perhaps be slimmer or more attractive that you. Above all, you can count on the fact that she will do her utmost to protect her boy from a cougar at all costs – the kind of hostility that you can do without when merely dating.
- Don’t rush
Finally try not to be in tearing hurry to turn this into a relationship. Sometimes older singles can be assailed with thoughts of their mortality and rush things towards relationships that have an air of permanence and stability. When dating a younger man, try and keep things casual at least until you have known each other for a length of time. Till then enjoy the energy and spontaneity that dating a younger man can bring into your life. Although he might not be as mature as you, he can make you laugh, take you out, and help you have great fun. If the relationship does not work out, you will know better what you want from your next young man.
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