Dealing with the Age Gap in Cougar Dating

Conventions about who to date and how are gradually falling by the wayside. The increasing practice of cougar dating or older women dating younger men is an example of widespread sexual changes taking place in society. And yet the very charm of cougar dating – getting to know someone more youthful – could also involve certain complications which if not dealt with properly can spoil a relationship with great potential. Here are a few ways on dealing with the age gap in cougar dating.

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It is nobody else’s business

Once you decide to join the world of cougar dating, don’t let the notion of age difference weigh you down. You don’t have to explain your decision to anyone else since all that it matters is that whether you and your date are compatible and you both are having a good time. While men with far younger partners have been lavished social acceptance since ages, it is still difficult for a woman to date a younger man without having to defend her choice to the rest of the world. Even though high profile couples such as Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore or Madonna and her model boyfriend Jesus have garnered some much-needed positive publicity for older women-younger men pairings, it is crucial to let go of the mind block if you are looking ahead to successful cougar dating.

Let go of stereotypes

Even when an older woman does not encounter open questioning from her contemporaries, dating a younger man could lead to several questions in her own mind. For instance you may be assailed with the thought that your date will make fun of you tomorrow when with his friends or that he is merely interested in your money. Even when you are engaged in an enjoyable relationship, fears about infidelity may plague you constantly. Keep in mind that such negativity is not only enough to kill any joy and potential in a relationship, but will eventually make you insecure and paranoid, traits that are far from attractive in any woman, young or old. So as you venture into the world of cougar dating by all means be realistic but at the same time don’t deprive yourself of the pleasure of the company or even the love of a younger man.

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Take care of your health

Younger partners are bound to be more energetic, whimsical and passionate than someone several years older. While it would be natural for them to enjoy the sea on an early spring day or go camping for several miles just to take in the view, you may wish to take things a little easy. Thus it becomes important to follow a healthy diet and exercise regularly so that you have energy to keep up with your cub date. In fact your younger partner may not realize the need to follow a healthy lifestyle at this stage and think nothing of indulging in unsafe sex, late nights, drinking binges and even experiment with recreational drugs. No matter how much you are attracted to your date, make it a point to avoid this kind of lifestyle. Keep in mind that while your date can spare many more years to rehab and de-addiction programs, you cannot afford to waste your time and health like that. And while it is true that women peak sexually in their late thirties, another decade down they may also be looking at menopause. During this time, lower libido is a fact of life which in turn could lead to angry words and hasty actions in a relationship. Here more than ever, emotional maturity of both partners becomes crucial so that you are able to negotiate such problems together.

Know what to expect

One of the charms of dating a younger man is that his youthfulness, positivity and fun-loving nature rubs on to you and you can delight in a far more energetic and outgoing relationship than with someone your own age. At the same time though, it is a good idea to know what to expect from a younger man, according to his age, so that you are not led into misplaced expectations. For instance while a cub just into his twenties will be full of fun and excitement, he will also be very young and unable to invest emotionally into your relationship. On the other hand a guy in his thirties will be more emotionally mature and aware of his priorities in life but then by this time he may also be rather set in his ways and going out with him may be too much dating a man your own age.

Keep it casual

While reminders of the age difference between you and your younger date can sometimes be entertaining as when he realizes that you both love the same songs but not necessarily sung by the same artists. However such reminders can pass easily into the realm of creepy. "How could you not know who David Cassidy is?" is one thing but "I was having sex while you were in kindergarten" is more likely to gross him out. More importantly resist the temptation to come off as a know-all. If your boyfriend makes a mess of the duck casserole and then tries to defend himself, avoid a rejoinder like “I have ten years more cooking experience and would happen to know about it a little more than you”. Granted your date lacks experience and knowledge but harping on it ever so often can take the fun out of a cougar relationship and make him leave in a huff.

Involve others with discretion

While you and your younger man may have no issues about the age gap, things might become complicated as soon as other people come into the picture. One of the trickiest situations is when you are socializing with each other’s friends and feel like an outsider. Thus while meeting your cub’s gang, you may have to contend with his buddies yammering on about college and getting ‘wasted’ on frat-boy beverages like Jagermeister. Above all don’t be in a rush to meet your cub’s parents, no matter how quickly you hit off with each other. Keep in mind that his mother will be naturally suspicious of a woman who is probably closer to her age and refuse to look on this relationship with any sort of approval. Instead for now focus on having a good time with each other and leave possibilities of a relationship to the future.