5 Reasons for Getting Back With Ex

A lot has been said about how entertaining hopes about getting back together with an ex is a bad idea – experts warn that there is a reason why the girl or guy is your ex and not a partner. However it may be that there are equally good reasons for getting back with the man or woman who once formed an important part of your life. And yet each situation is different and will be unique. However, here are some scenarios in which you may consider getting back with your ex.

The breakup was impulsive

Sometimes a fight can get heated to an extent that couples say things like I wish I hadn’t met you or its better to break up than continue like this. Such words are almost said when emotions are running high and it could be that they are followed by a rash decision to part ways. This is a valid reason for getting back together if the impulsive decision to break up came from a specific problem that doesn’t span throughout your entire relationship. You may have even tried to work on this problem but were unsuccessful. In this case it may be worth trying to make things work again.

Get back with your ex with this step-by-step guide.

You both have similar priorities

One of the best tests of romantic compatibility is when both partners want the same things out of life. These usually have to do with careers, lifestyle and family choices. If you and your ex shared a dream to retire early and travel the world or if you both subscribed to the suburban dream of owning a comfortable home and raising kids, then probably you should not give in too early. See what led to the fight and how you can overcome such minor hiccups – this should not be too hard, especially since you both have roughly similar goals and aspirations in life.

You've worked on Improving Yourself

Very often the health of a relationship reflects an individual’s own inner landscape. If a woman has let herself go in a marriage, becoming intellectually vacuous or physically lethargic, her husband will not only find her unappealing but she herself would probably suffer from lack of self-esteem and good energy, thus making herself even more unattractive. Likewise a guy who has become a workaholic will not only become boring and self-absorbed to his partner but she may look for emotional intimacy elsewhere. If your breakup had been brought about by a lack of self-growth, try and improve yourself. If you had been a stay-at-home mom before the separation, first become financially independent. Get a job and make sure that you and your kids are alright. Even if you don’t need the money, take some course and enhance your personality. If you have been separated from your wife, first learn to make yourself comfortable at home and if the kids are living with you, arrange for them to be taken care of while you are at work. In this way, you will be sure that you are not rushing into reconciliation with your ex out of desperation but on the strength of a new and improved perspective.

There have been major changes

If you had felt compelled to end your relationship in the past, it must have been because there were issues which could not be resolved. But now if you are thinking of getting back with your ex, consider what, if anything at all, has changed. If you were forced to leave your ex because of her drinking problem, are you sure she has recovered completely? If you were tired of your ex’s irresponsible behavior, is there any real evidence like a stable job or community position, that he has learnt to keep commitments? Allow yourself to get back together with your ex only when you have certain proof that things have changed for the better. If the differences had to do with clashing personalities, see if both of you are now really willing to work to give each other more. If you feel you did not give enough personal space to your partner, do you think the next time you will be more willing to allow him or her to do their own thing? Or if your ex was extravagant to the point of endangering the family’s finances, do you believe that he or she can change enough to act more responsibly again? While it is impossible to alter the basic makeup of a personality, a relationship demands that each partner make some adjustments for the relationship to succeed.

You were mostly happy in the relationship

Finally go over your relationship with a fine comb and ask yourself honestly how you felt when you were in it. If you were happy almost all of the time you were together, then there is a good chance that getting back together may work out. One of the most indicators of the health of a relationship is how good you feel about yourself when you are with your partner. Your guy or girl may be amazing – smart, attractive and the toast of the town. But if you keep feeling anxious, insecure, unworthy in the relationship all the time, then something somewhere is not right. If you do not like the person you have become in this relationship, then somehow you are being sidelined from the path of true fulfillment. A relationship is meaningful not only when two people find fulfillment in each other but also when they achieve self-growth and self-assurance. It is important to remember that no relationship is perfect. Every real couple have fights, each one has its ups and downs and if you or your ex walked out in a huff over one bad experience then you have a legitimate claim for wanting to give your relationship another shot.

Every relationship comes with its own set of adjustments and expectations. The same is true of a reconciliation with an ex with the qualification that the baggage from the previous relationship is heavier. However this is not to say that you should be reject any though of getting back with an ex but make sure that you consider it as making a fresh start. Things and people can never go back to being the same and instead of thinking of the reconciliation as a chance to set things right, see it as the beginning of a new relationship with new possibilities and challenges.