Dating an ESFP personality type

‘Outgoing, friendly and accepting’ is how the official Myers-Briggs website describes the ESFP personality type. The exuberance that these people bring in their relationships makes them warm and energetic partners. So if you are dating an ESFP, here is what you can look forward too.

Share their energy

Hugely social and energetic, ESFPs love to be engaged with several things at the same time. Their lives are usually fast-paced and packed with friends, work, socializing and enjoyable activities. This is primarily the result of the Extroversion, Sensing and Feeling aspects in their personality type. Such people like to be engaged in activities that are full of action, involve several people and gets immediate results. Theories and abstract ideas bore them. So if you are planning to take out your ESFP partner, think of something that is fun to do and social at the same time. ESFPs would love to go dancing at a popular nightclub or watch a highly charged football game amidst enthusiastic fans. In fact a dating activity which involves being part of a team sport like bowling in a couples league would be greatly enjoyed by an EFSP partner.

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Keep them hooked

However as a result of their hugely exuberant selves, ESFPs tend to lose focus and get easily bored when they cannot find new things to do. At such times, an ESFP partner may even look elsewhere for distraction which gives them the reputation of hopping from one relationship to another. So if you want to hold on to your ESFP partner, make sure you keep them engaged in different ways from time to time. A good idea would be to invite your partner to take up a hobby with you or learn something new to do. Popular hobbies for ESFPs include cooking, music, dance or activities that involve people for instance an amateur theater group or a wine appreciation club . They are also keenly interested in team sports so that after they have had their fill of learning to cook Lebanese dishes, you can join a rowing team or a para-jumping group for couples. The whole idea is to keep ESFPs hooked onto newer ideas and activities so that they have a positive outlet for their enormous energy and don’t seek their thrills elsewhere.

Don’t grudge them the limelight

Once again the combination of the Extroversion, Feeling and Perceiving aspects in the ESFP personality type, makes these people happy to be around their fellow humans. They in fact thrive in social situations and are often found to be at the center of groups, whether at work or play. The friendly and easy-going natures of ESFPs make them exceedingly popular and especially a hit among friends, acquaintances and in their social circle. Add to these their natural charm and vivacious selves and it is no wonder that ESFPs often make up the heart and soul of parties. So once in a while it might it get disconcerting to find your ESFP partner’s social calendar packed with events - many of which may not even include you – and if you are a private kind of person who would much rather stay at home and read a book rather than boogie away the night, you might have some difficulty understanding this aspect of the ESFP personality type. However if you are interested in your partner, it would be better to allow them their moment in the limelight rather than give way to fits of jealousy and insecurity.

Appreciate their generosity

One of the things which make ESFPs such delightful lovers is their warm, generous nature. They are, especially at the beginning of a relationship, perfectly capable of sweeping you off your feet with their enthusiasm and desire to please. ESFPs in fact have been known to go to great lengths to make their partners happy. So you just might back home on your birthday to find a surprise party thrown by your ESFP partner. Or if you have a weakness for a particularly rare wine, an ESFP partner might be trusted to get it for you through their large network of friends and contacts. Sometimes however this desire to please may lead to impulsive and extravagant behavior especially in regard to purchases. So if you are sharing a life and especially home with an ESFP partner be sure to appreciate their generous and exuberant natures instead of picking on why they spent so much on a mere indulgence or why did they get something which isn’t practical. A negative response would immediately dampen their enthusiasm and if this happens frequently, an ESFP might move on to people who are easier to please.

Encourage discussions

It is very important for ESFPs to be in a pleasant harmonious environment to be happy. They tend to avoid places where there is discord and people who are negative or overly critical. One consequence of this is that ESFPs have trouble being serious in relationships or when a particular issue needs to be resolved. Instead of getting involved in uncomfortable discussions or having to confront unhappy truths, they would much rather drift away from the unpleasant situation and get on with their active and social lives. This is not to say that an ESFP can never be expected to thrash out serious issues, but that they prefer an environment which is positive and where there is no conflict. So if you are looking at a long-term relationship with an ESFP, make sure that you don’t use a critical and accusatory stance when you need to discuss an issue but approach it in a manner which is co-operative and constructive.

Enjoy the present

The Perceiving aspect of the ESFP type makes these people happy to live in the present moment which is why they don’t put too much store by plans and schedules. So think twice before cornering your ESFP partner on what is going to happen to you both in future or where your relationship is headed. ESFPs thrive in situations where they can get immediate results and this makes them more partial towards short-term equations. However this does not mean that you cannot have a long-term relationship with your ESFP partner but for them commitment is more likely to be reflected in the quality of a relationship rather than in number of years you are together.