Dating an INFP personality type

The keywords in the INFP personality type according to the Myers-Briggs method, stand for Introversion, Intuition, Feeling and Perspective. All these make people of the INFP type idealistic, loyal and committed to long-term relationships. Here are a few dating tips if you are in a relationship with an INFP man or woman.

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Appreciate their devotion to ideals

The result of the combination of Introversion and Intuition in this group of people means that they are highly idealistic in nature. They are deeply committed to making the world a better place to live and the presence of the keyword Feeling indicates that they are also acutely conscious of how people are affected by various circumstances and what will make them feel better. So when you are with your INFP date think twice before pocketing the extra change the waitress may have mistakenly handed over to you or telling a fib to your boss or family member. Above all, avoid making light of your INFP partner’s devotion to a cause they believe in. You may have your doubts about the pragmatic benefit of collecting money on behalf of war-orphans from Afghanistan or strays from around your neighborhood but arguing about it or demeaning the intentions of those who are working for the cause will most likely put your INFP friend off you. Rather tag along if your INFP partner wants you to accompany them to a charity dinner or a fundraiser. Even if you do not believe in the particular cause, affirm your support for kindness, generosity and desire to help the less privileged, ideals which are all held in great regard by INFPs.

Treat them gently

INFPs usually present a calm and pleasant face to the world with few things appearing to ruffle or upset them seriously. However they are actually capable of deep and intense feelings but only after they decide to make you part of their tight circle of close friends and family. This is perhaps why in the early stages of dating, you may be a little perturbed by your partner’s shyness and reserve. But remember this is how they are. They are cautious about expressing their innermost feelings to people they don’t know well and will only let into their world once they are assured that you share or at least respect their ideals and values. Their Intuitive and Feeling aspects makes INFPs highly sensitive to how others treat them but will often keep negative reactions to them since they are unwilling to enter into confrontations. However if this goes on for long, an INFP will simply drift away from the relationship rather than express what they have been feeling and why.

Value commitment

One of the ideals that INFPs lay great store by is loyalty. Commitment and constancy are extremely important to people of this personality type and so you would do well not to engage in a relationship with INFPs unless you are sure of what you want. INFP men and women understand this which is why they are shy and reserved in the beginning and open up only when they are certain that you want the relationship for keeps. Give proof of your commitment if you are serious about your INFP partner; this could range from happily agreeing to date him/her exclusively to resisting the temptation of meeting an ex for lunch or coffee even if it’s just to see ‘how things are going on’. Few things upset INFPs as much as flippancy and infidelity because they hold their values and the people they love very close to their heart.

Avoid discord

The presence of Feeling and Perspective in their psychological makeup, leads INFPs to be acutely conscious of the people around them and their reactions. They thrive best in harmonious environments and tend to stay away from places where discord and disputes predominate. This is a useful thing to keep in mind when dating an INFP partner. So when thinking of places to take your date, avoid venues like your favorite debating club or intensely competitive activities like playing chess if you have nothing better to do on a rainy evening. Your INFP partner would much rather groove to some light music in a small pub or be taken for a long pleasant drive in the countryside. A harmonious environment to INFPs also means where they are not always up against evidence of pettiness or negativity all the time. So be sure to avoid bickering and constant criticisms in your relationship. If there are any issues to be resolved, approach them in a calm and pleasant way and you will surely get their attention. INFPs like to deal with the outside world in a casual and relaxed way and are put off by people who enforce their own views or way of doing things. Hence it is as important to give them their space as it is to understand their need for a harmonious and positive environment.

INFPs are on the whole relaxed and adaptable people which make them easy to get on with once you are able to reach across their shyness. Their congeniality and easy-going natures make INFPs delightful as partners since they make few demands in their relationships. They are also sensitive, kind and times generous to a fault. However INFPs can also surprise you with their rigidity once they feel that one of their principle values has been threatened. So you may be happily cruising along in a relationship with your easy-going  INFP partner but one day give in to temptation and visit a stripper’s club on a boy’s night out. If so, you might be surprised by the harshness of your partner’s reaction since when one of their core values are threatened, INFPs are notoriously difficult to appease and can come off as uncharacteristically rigid. Overall, INFPs are nurturing and loyal in their relationships and are ideal as long-term partners.