Dating an ENTJ Personality Type

The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator website describes ENTJs as frank, decisive and quick to assume leadership positions. In fact ENTJs bring the same qualities of an incisive mind and goal-oriented personality into their relationships too. Here are a few tips to guide you if you are dating an ENTJ man or woman.

Engage them intellectually

Like all personality types with Thinking and Judging characteristics, the ENTJ has a keen, analytical mind which uses logic and reasoning to understand the world and solve life’s problems. Such a personality is most likely to be geared to personal and professional growth and consequently will be well-read and usually well-educated. Thus If you want to impress your ENTJ partner, make sure you give evidence of your own intellectual prowess too. Talk about a recent book you may have read or discuss a noticeable event in contemporary world politics. When deciding on a dating activity, think of something that would engage them intellectually but in a social setting. An interactive quiz session for couples or an evening at your neighborhood debating club would be ideal for ENTJs to express their vibrant intellect. You could also attend semi-professional conventions and workshops together which would offer a nice mix of socializing and personal improvement for your ENTJ partner.

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Cater to their ambitious nature

ENTJs are very motivated by success in their careers so that professional growth and success is an important source of self-validation for them. They are not only capable of putting in long hours at work but actually like to work hard in order to prove themselves. So when dating an ENTJ, compliment them on their professional capabilities and success while also inviting them to share their future ambitions with you. At the same time, don’t forget to mention your own achievements because their Intuitive nature helps them to see and appreciate potential in others as well. Because of their ambitious nature, ENTJs usually enjoy competitive sports which could actually make for enjoyable dating activities for the two of you. So on a pleasant day, you could either go or watch a soccer game playing your partner’s favorite team or participate in a couples bowling league. On a rainy evening on the other hand, bring out a competitive board game like Scrabble or set each other intricate jigsaw puzzles to complete. Since ENTJs are so focused on their careers, they are likely to have few interests outside their work and hence are drawn to leisure activities which also help to further their professional growth. So on dates you can go golfing in an exclusive club where your ENTJ partner might enlarge their circle of business contacts.

The flip side of an ambitious nature is that an ENTJ partner will often tend to put work before pleasure. So be prepared to wait an extra half an hour on dates while your mate finishes the presentation or try to take in stride a couple of canceled holidays as a result of professional commitments. However with an ENTJ partner you can also be sure that he/she partner will more than make up for the lapses with perhaps a luxurious vacation or an exclusive gift.

Allow for their forceful natures

ENTJs often have a very direct and forceful way of communicating and to those who don’t know them very well, they might appear brusque and even confrontational at times. Their way of communication is influenced by their Thinking and Judging natures which lays more emphasis on reason, analysis and the strict code of values by which they live rather than how their interlocutors might feel or respond to their way of speaking. So you may be unnerved every now and then by a blunt remark on your appearance or a sharp criticism of the way you have decorated the house or the shirt you have bought on a sale. However remember that their way of communicating is an expression of their keen incisive minds which brooks no duplicity and is impatient of incompetence. Once you are able to realize the value of their powers of evaluation and organization in sustaining a relationship, you will eventually feel more accommodating of their forceful natures.

The  aspect of ENTJs which prevents them from being merely a hard taskmaster is their Intuitive nature. They have a deep insight into the motivations and potential of people around them and understand intuitively what will bring out the best in them. As a result if your ENTJ partner seems rather hard on you for having reneging on a promise, they would also know how to make you feel better – whether a bouquet of red roses or a sumptuous breakfast in bed would do the trick. So instead of feeling put down by your ENTJ partner’s way of speaking at times, try to look at the bright side – they are one of the few people who can be counted on both to change a light fuse as well as to instinctively understand what has upset you.

Encourage them to open up

ENTJs, despite their social and intuitive natures are known to have difficulty in expressing their own emotions and feelings. While they can communicate effectively with peers, co-workers and even social acquaintances, talking about intimate feelings makes them uncomfortable which may at times lead to an emotional barrier between them and their partners. If you believe this to be true of your ENTJ mate as well, encourage them to open up at times. In as practical and straightforward a manner as possible, ask them about what is going on in their minds and if they would like to discuss anything close to their heart. Feelings are not a strong point with ENTJs and you need to keep this in mind so that you don’t judge them as emotionally distant and unsupportive.

Like everything else in their lives, to ENTJs relationships too are opportunities for achieving growth and new learning. Thus partners of ENTJs need to have a good deal of patience and personal strength to stand up to the challenge of loving and living with them. And if you are one of those, you will find that your relationship with an ENTJ has enriched and improved you life like few else could have done.